Armless called the circle to be formed at 7:50 p.m.  He apologized on behalf of the Aussies for the horrible run.  The hares were then called in and an overwhelming amount of cries for HASH SHIT  were heard.  An incensed Cock Radio ranted in the circle that Lion City was ungrateful and that runners should give back their T-shirts!  We know he just wanted the ladies to take theirs off!  Sneaky Cummer and Coo Chi Coo were also there to take the heat!  Thanks for the shirt Aussies!  Armless warned that seeing this type of run on Australia Day didn't bode well for Interhash in Perth.  Are hashers flying from all over the world for runs like that?!  Then Cock Radio told Lion City about the On-On.  He somehow convinced Outback Red Lantern to whip up a batch of kangaroo steaks and vegemite sandwiches.  For a moment there was a worry that no one would attend, but then it was made clear that there would also be beer.

 

Next Week's Hare:  Fag Sucker brought Knickerless into the circle and explained that Chestnut Avenue is where he always sets his run.  All Knickerless had to reply was:  "Tough Shit!"  It seems Knickerless had already "reserved" Chestnut Ave. for her run which will be the week after Fag Sucker's.  That's when Fag Sucker pointed out the timeline:  "My run's before yours, so TOUGH SHIT to you!"  Once Knickerless wrapped her blonde thinking around that one, Fag Sucker put her mind at ease and showed what a gentleman he truly is by letting Chestnut Ave. go to Knickerless.  However, next week's run site is still undetermined.  Check the website!

 

Virgin:  Ritu

Virgerman (Jungfrau):  David (This German Virgin...VIRGERMAN.... was confused.  He didn't come in as a virgin, so we had to educate him.  Thanks to his lack of attention coupled with the lack of guidance from a GERMAN grandmaster, a new word has been created.  Check your dictionaries:  virgerman!

Visitors:  Kannot Can, Kan the Cobra, Ringing Wet, Mr. Logic, Chinook, Janine, Piss Brake, Mauveen, Isako, Dana, Zag, and Maggot.

 

Harewhips:  Sneeky Cummer called in Shoe Shopper, Shaggy Dick Too and Strapless for not being able to break the first challenging check near King Albert Park.  The worst part is that this bit of the run had been directly stolen from one of Shaggy Dick Too's runs.  He also gave Long Suffering a down-down for messing up the creek crossing by sitting down and shimmying her bum across a fallen log instead of getting wet like she was supposed to.  Next, Cock Radio gives Sneaky Cummer a down-down for spending an inordinate amount of time getting a toilet roll open and started properly, just to drop it and watch it roll away down a slope.  Coo Chi Coo called in Shoe Shopper and gave her a down-down, not for sending an email without a subject heading, but for resending the email without a subject heading with an apology and in inserted subject heading.  LMK what she was thinking!  Lastly, Lion City was treated to the Aussie war cry and dance routine.  Wet-n-Wild was put in front of all the Aussies while they squared off and did their version of Waltzing Matilda.  If only they had spent as much time planning their run!  Great job Aussies!

 

Mystery-Whip:  Cock Radio, not wanting to seem culturally insensitive, asked Quickie if it's traditional for Chinese women to get their hair cut for Chinese New Year.  I'm not sure what the answer was, but he then brought in an Eleven look-a-like (Sweet Thighs), and explained a conversation that he'd had with her before the run.  She had a new hair cut even though she didn't want one.  When Cock Radio asked her why she had it done, she replied that it was free!  Give anythingforabargin a note!  Next, Cock Radio claimed to have been reading the newspaper.  We all know that Aussies don't know how to read, but in among the pictures, he learned that the average bra cup in Singapore had increased in size from a B to a C cup.  This prompted him to bring in all of the Singaporean ladies and have them parade around the circle to see if we could notice the recent change.  Sure enough, boobs are growing in Singapore!  It was a bit strange watching woman go around the inside of the circle.  It was kind of like a sushi belt.  Bully was overheard saying:  "I'll have six of those please!"  Lastly, Peeking Ong was brought in for getting the date wrong on the website.  It's 2008, just in case you were wondering!

Mystery Mystery Whip:  Wet-n-Wild brought the hares in for punishment after laying a check that looked like a chicken's head.  It must have been some kind of ancient aboriginal symbolism.  Next, Croc O'Shit, Sneaky Cummer and Not Tonight were brought in for being too picky about what size t-shirt they got.  Lastly, Coo Chi Coo and Croc O'Shit were brought in...., one for pushing Chicken Shit up a hill by her bum, and the other for NOT pushing Big Head up the hill by her bum.  Can you guess who pushed and who didn't? 

 

AOB:

Pussy Lifter found two chairs left after last weeks run.  Poser claimed one, and the other?

Ditch called in Running Shit for tearing a tree that a young woman was using for support on the run right out of the ground.  What a beast!

Stash called in Coo Chi Coo who claimed to have nothing at all to do with the run when the whole pack was stuck in traffic near King Albert Park.  You ARE a hare, aren't you?

Fag Sucker asks Not Tonight, a medical professional, what a person could do to appear younger.  Not Tonight went through a list of possibilities which all seemed resonable.  However, she neglected the one that Malfunktion used:  A HAIRCUT!  On in Malfunktion sporting his new look!  He doesn't look a day of 25!

Jack Off called in No Good for wearing a tight, bright pink shirt with HB printed on the front!  It wasn't even a hash shirt!  And what does HB stand for anyway?  Who knows?!  Here's to horny bitch she's true blue!

 

The prick was awared to Pussy Lifter who was overheard saying that he's trying to cum once a week.  If that's all he's trying to do, his partner is going to need the prick!

 

Maggot called in Cock Radio for his performance on his first Live Hare run last Sunday.  After a few minutes into the run, Cock Radio sensed that he was fkcued!  When he asked Maggot what he should do, the reply simply was:  "YOU RUN!"

Shaggy Dick Too called Cock Radio back into the circle.  He had noticed that Cock Radio had missed work the following Monday.  He had assumed that it was the after run festivities that made it impossible for him to attend.  In fact, it was the run itself!

Piss Brake shared a joke with Lion City:  Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?  Because they're mine!

Croc O'Shit called in a visitor who ran shirtless and explained that whenever he ran shirtless, everyone asked him to put his shirt on.  Why didn't they do the same to this guy?  Then Goodie Bag was brought in, and it was decided that she should definitely run shirtless!

Big Head brough in an Austrailian thingy that she couldn't really figure out.  It turned out to be some kind of noise maker that Ripper had to demonstrate.  Then Ripper gave her a whip which she couldn't manage to crack!  Pussy Lifter came in to show her how to do it!  SNAP!  He only comes once a week, but that man can crack a whip!  After this demonstration of Austrailian weapons of mass destruction, the circle closed and everyone went to the Red Lantern!

 

Scribe:  Croc O'Shit.