This lovely, 5.5 kilometer, off-road, trail and jungle run was a chance for Lion City Hashers to get out and stretch their legs as well as twist and ankle or get a scratch or two.  A variety of newly showered terrain kept the pack guessing at every turn.  The checks combined with washed away flour and paper made for a pretty tight group.  Not bad considering Fag Sucker had to change the venue just one week before the run.   Laying trail in the rain is never easy, but at least the circle area didn't smell quite as bad as usual thanks to the monkey piss having been washed away.  Highlight of the run...  Stepping over the squished cobra at the end of the run.  Fag Sucker Cobra Killer was looking out for us! 

 

Armless called for the circle to be formed at 7:54 p.m.  He immediately reminded everyone that there had been Hash Shit Runs for the two previous weeks, so he thought maybe we were starting a Lion City tradition.  Fag sucker was brought in and given praise for his good run.  He then took a head count for the on-on at the Red Lantern and looked mighty confused.  Why can't you people hold still?

 

Next week's hare was nowhere to be found.  She was no-doubt off on a recce at Chestnut Ave.  Next week Knickerless's run will be there, and her on-on will be at Carus, or is it Karuse?  You know...  the curry place.

 

Harewhip:  Fagsucker was looking for a bit of help for laying the trail so he sent an SMS to a reliable Lion City Hasher.  First fag sucker sent a question asking:  "Where are you?"  The hasher's reply:  "At work.  Who's this?"  That's when Fag Sucker decided that he could have a bit of fun.  Instead of getting help with laying the trail, he started sending more flirtatious SMS missles.  The hasher was getting more and more curious as the tease became more than he could bear.  Finally COCK RADIO looked up Fag Sucker's phone number on the list of all Lion City Hashers.  What a disappointment that must have been for him.  No wonder he couldn't remember being at the towers 3 weeks ago.

 

Virgins:  Tim, Claire, and Michael

 

Visitors:  Khan the Cobra, Kannot Kan, Poofter, Olav, Steffan, Itsako, Neil, Penile Extension, Alan and Forest Dump

 

Grandmistress Big Head made a plea for hares.  If you can hare either March 14th, or March 28th, please let her know:

 

Mystery Whip:  Stiffy had a legal issue, but he wanted to test the knowledge of his chosen lawyer before actually hiring him.  He brought in Boo to find out what the fine for feeding the monkeys in Singapore was.  Boo tried to skirt the issue, obviously having no clue.  His response eventually was $500, which in fact was the former fine.  Apparently, it had been raised to $5,000.  This brought a chorus of:  "Bull shit, bull shit, it all sounds like bull shit to me, to me..."  In any case, Boo proved himself unworthy of pay.  Nonetheless, he was engaged as stiffy's lawer for this pressing issue.  It seems that the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy is suing Ryanair for their advertisement using his and his girlfriend's image.  Sarkozy is demanding a symbolic 1 euro to make a point, whereas his girlfriend is asking for three quarters of a million euros.  She has a public image and singing career to think of.  What's the point?  On in Croc O'Shit who, without permission, published a uTube video of Stiffy swimming the canal at the Boy's of January run:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZNbZUFO_1o  Stiffy was demanding a symbolic $1 being the elder statesman that he is.  Goodie Bag, however has her public image to think about so she is asking for $750,000!  Lastly, Stiffy called in all of the hashers who wore a green shirt on the run.  There were quite a few!  Then he told all hashers who weren't wearing an IRISH green shirt to fukc off.  There was only one.  Fag Sucker!  Maybe it's time he gave Lion City Hashers another shirt!

 

Mystery-Mystery Whip:  Kannot Kan, Lion City's newest weekly visitor, hopefully soon to be member, made his debut whipping.  What better way to start than charging his own wife Khan the Kobra for being one of the last to set out on the run and the first one to cum.............................back.  Next, Kannot Kan brought in Armless and charged him for engaging such a bad mystery-mystery whip.  This cunning feat of self-deprication got Armless drinking!  Next, Kannot Kan explained that since he had fabricated a traffic jam on the way to the run, he had arrived after everyone else had left.  Being worried that he wouldn't be able to catch up to the pack, he finally felt relief at catching up to the "front-runners".  On in "front runners" Ayam Kampong and Goodie Bag!  Next, Chicken Shit was charged for being impolite and asking the mystery-whip why he arrived so late!  She, herself was late.  What was she on about?  Kannot Kan was just getting warmed up!  When he asked the wives of Lion City to push their husbands into the circle if they felt he was an old-fart.  You imagine the hubub, but what you might not have expected to see, was one of the male virgins pushing Fag Sucker into the circle.  Well... at this point things were quite entertaining.  Your humble scribe decided to watch and enjoy instead of taking notes.  The end result being...  I can't remember exactly what was said, but it had to do with the old farts being gossips worse than their wives.  The men were given a chance for revenge and asked to push in their wives if they'd ever felt victimized by them.  No man however was willing to admit that to Lion City so Kannot Kan had a drink for himself.  That's Karma, as he said.

 

The prick of the week was awarded to Not Tonight.  She came late tonight.  Late cummers need a prick, dontcha think?

 

AOB:

Stiffy brings Fag Sucker into the circle to wish him a happy birthday.

Not Tonight relates the story of naming Fag Sucker and his request for a name change.  Squirrel Fucker came to mind.  She had a squirrel puppet to illustrate the point.  The place to insert the hand was just under the tail.  OUCH!  No...  Fag Sucker it is, Fag Sucker it will remain!

Boo called in Cock Radio for coming to the rescue of the cute virgin when she was scared by the dead snake on trail.  Cock Radio choses his rescuees well, doesn't he?

Wet-n-Wild called in Croc O'Shit for incorrectly scribing that the Aussies did an Australian dance last week when in fact it was Kiwi.  Give the culturally deficient American a note!

Stash called in Lap Dancer for not knowing her own culture.  She wasn't even aware that the Superbowl was going to take place on Monday morning.  She's been away from home for too long!

There was talk of spam and green marraige.  My notes are a bit muddled because of the rain.  Was Stash talking about Green Eggs and Spam?

Stash then brought Fag Sucker in for putting too much paper near the ranger station!  Oh, that's it.   Litter... not green!  Ok!

Croc O'Shit charged the cute virgin for probably being a kindergarten teacher what with the warnings she was giving on-trail.  "Ooops..., there's a vine her.  Careful now...  There's a thorn dear.  Do you see it?  Ok..."  Little did he know... she was actually a lawyer.  His legal troubles just got worse!

Sneaky Cummer brought the virgin back for...

Little John made a plug for the Joint Run.  All the ladies wanted to go!

Kannot Kan brought Indecent Exposure into the circle and sang his favorite song to her:  "She's the meanest...!"  Her reply:  "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me...?"

Tiger Lily... YES IT WAS REALLY HER! called in Shoe Shopper for saying that she had pricks in her bum.

Not Tonight called in Blood Shit for not recognizing Tiger Lily.  "Is she a member?"

 

Circle Closed at 8:57

On-On Red Lantern:  There were 4 tables and it was good!

Scribe:  Croc O'Shit.