This lovely run site was chosen much to the delight of nearby residents as well as the curious station master.  Hashers without elaborate boot-showers also appreciated the availability of water for washing up.  Even our visitors from Thailand enjoyed having the opportunity to teach a local taxi driver something new about the location of train stations in Singapore.  Most of all, the proximity to Forture Seafood Restaurant a.k.a. The Red Lantern made for a well populated on-on.  For more specifics concerning the run itself, please ask someone who was on-trail.  All I know is that there were a lot of muddy slopes and railroad tracks.

The circle was called to order by Astronut and Big Head at 8:06 p.m.

Shaggy Dick Too was brought in and was given the GOOD RUN seal of approval.

Next week's hares:  Cheeks Out for the Boys and Little John were called upon to share details with the circle.  Little John tried bailing out by saying:  "It's your run, Dear!", but he ended up being dragged in nonetheless.  Next weeks run will go from the Kranji War Memorial.  There probably won't be any bagpipes, but if we're lucky, we may see a kilt or two.  Will it be the same as Monday's run?  Come and find out!

Virgin:  Ally (Male, and seemed to appeal to the womenfolk of Lion City)

Returnees:  Steptoe, Herr Zipp and Arse Liquor

Visitors:  Jurassic Dick, Ling, Itsako, Dyke Converter, Fish-n-Tits, and Penile Extension.

Hare Whip:  Shaggy Dick Too entered the circle promising only 3 charges.  The first one began 12 days ago when Shaggy was sharing a lift to an on-on with a certain Big Head.  Our Grand-Mistress asked Shaggy Dick Too where his run was going to be held, he answered:  "Bukit Timah Railway Station since I live nearby and know the area, I could lay a run even if I were pissed."  To that, our tactless Grand-Matress replied:  "Good, because you usually are!"  To add insult to injury, at the end of this run, while SD2 was picking up paper, Sweet Thighs trotted by and said:  "Hi Shaggy Dick Too.  Are you pissed?"  How RUDE!  Where do these people come from?  Just when he thought the insults couldn't get any worse, SD2 was ambushed by a giant pot calling the kettle black!  Ken Ong came in from what probably wasn't the trail and asked….  You guessed it!  "Are you pissed?"  Well these offensive ingrates ought to be publicly pissed on!  Just when we were getting ready for a whipping change, Shaggy Dick Too indicated that those 3 individuals represented a collective charge.  Still two more to go!  Don't worry!  It won't be as long as last weeks circle report!  Get ready for a supernatural tale of mystic intrigue…  Shaggy Dick Too informed those who were not already aware that he is a teacher.  He claims that his school isn't as well equipped as other international schools in Singapore, but earlier this week, due to the rain, his school finally had a swimming pool.  While on a free period, (no he wasn't pissed), he was brooding about the weather, dreading the inevitable laying of trail in a rain storm.  However, one of his colleagues was certain that it would NOT rain.  Without a trace of doubt, Cheeks Out for the Boys looked Shaggy Dick Too in the eye and said:  "You have nothing to worry about.  It will not rain on Friday."  Shaggy Dick Too admitted to the circle that he thought Cheeks Out must be crazy, but he couldn't get over her unshakeable certainty.  As we all saw, it indeed, did NOT rain on the day of the run.  This got Shaggy Dick Too thinking about Cheeks Out's mystical powers.  How did she know?  Is she a medium?  Then Shaggy Dick suddenly was able to put the pieces of the puzzle together!  (No, he wasn't pissed!)  He's noticed for a while that Little John has been walking funny for a while.  He walks as if he has a huge pair of crystal balls dangling between his loins.  Cheeks Out has been consulting the crystal balls!  Give them both a drink!  So…  Will it rain next Friday at Kranji?  For Shaggy Dick Too's 3^rd charge, he decided that he was going to "Fix it!" for an esteemed friend and colleague who needed Jasminda Caw's telephone number for record keeping purposes!  Jasminda is the women who must be notified if a hare wants to use the Bukit Timah Railway Station as a run site.  Anyway…  keeping with the mystical amazement of the evening, Jasminda was transported in full body and spirit…  (in the lovely shape of Twin Towers…)  much to the surprise of Cock Radio.  It was like one giant Lion City séance.  Finally…  it ended with the circle trembling with laughter, and the hare whip was almost if not quite…  pissed.

Astronut came in the circle…  very messy…to charge the sitters with sitting:  Fish-n-Tits, Hooray, and Ayam Kampong were given a down-down and told to stand up-up.

Mystery Whip:  Sneaky Cummer was holding a grudge from the last committee turn-over when he was required to put together the books just to be pestered by Saliva, Wet Patch and Boo!  They made his life a living hell, but the real culprit has finally dared to show his face…  On in Herr Zipp for f*cking – off in the first place, leaving the thankless job of hash cash to a reluctant Sneaky Cummer!  Next, Sneaky Cummer called in the virgin for  making life for current male members more difficult.  "Let's face it.  He's not old.  He's not fat.  He's not ugly.  He's really bumming us out!  There's only one thing we don't know.  Is he stupid?  Let's find out.  He was following Tiger Lily on trail tonight.  Hey Virgin…  did you learn anything on tonight's run?"  The virgin replied:  "YES!  Don't follow Tiger Lily!"  Sneaky Cummer made it official!  "He's not stupid!  We're done for!"

Awards:  Dim Sum reached 400 runs and Fag Sucker reached 100.  Both hashers donated the value of their awards to the Down Syndrome Association.  Congrats guys!  Great job! 

Please note that Peeking Ong reached 600 runs last week and Big Head reached 100.  Croc O'Shit was made to drink for omitting this from the circle report that he didn't even write.  Though he may have been innocent on those two counts, Ayam Kampong has shown proof that her 200^th run award was not noted in the report of run 1319 in October of 2007.  Sorry about that.  Don't worry!  I won't be scribe when you get to 250!

Mystery Mystery Whip Coo Chi Coo was astounded that it took Shaggy Dick Too's coming to the hash sober for him to find out that he's usually pissed!  Next, Coo Chi Coo wanted a big hug and tongue kiss from Eleven as a thank you for his having convinced Circle Jerk to marry her!  He pointed out that she was already ready for marriage as she was barefooted in the circle.  "She must have mistaken this for the kitchen."  Coo Chi Coo pointed out that once a woman is married, she starts changing her style.  Flip-flops change to high heals, pig-tails became permanents…   it's hard to keep up with what will be the new fashion, but it's sure a lot easier than guessing what color Machine's hair is going to be next Friday!  Give him a note.  Give Twin Peaks a note as well for being a smart ass and saying that Coo Chi Coo couldn't drink from a can…  He said it himself…  a smart ass doesn't like being smart assed to..  Well…  he probably said it more eloquently than that.

THE PRICK:  Sneaky Cummer returned the prick which had been in the possession of Cums Quietly.  Sneaky Cummer, an employee of Microsoft, had two technology related charges.  One was for his wife, Wet-n-Wild who told Iron Crotch that if she wanted more information about Easter, then she could check the Internet.  Instead of saying live.search.com she recommended a competitor: GOOGLE!  Doesn't she know where her husband's retirement must come from?  Next, not only did Cock Radio try to obtain free Microsoft Word illegally, but worse, he has given up using Microsoft software altogether and has gone back to recording run statistics on cards!  Who should get the prick?  Wet-n-Wild got it after we all found out that Sneaky Cummer will be away next week.  She needs it more than Cock Radio.

AOB:

Cock Radio recommends that one always brings a friend on a recce.  Shaggy Dick Too ignored this advice and ended up with a spider bite that made his neck swell up like the Elephant Man!  Now, he has become the incredible, swollen, spider man.  So…  he needed a costume.  Luckily, Cock Radio had one.  It took a while, but by the time Shaggy Dick Too got the costume on… he was pissed.

Not Tonight called in the virgin.  All the ladies were hot and bothered by swarthy good looks.  It was starting to cause trouble among rival women.  Therefore, Not Tonight decided to award him to Ugly Bum since her husband was out of town.  You go girl!

Fag Sucker called Spidey back into the circle to point out that Fag Sucker had also told him that the last time he set a run there, he was pissed as well!  Spidey Dick Too then said:  "Yes, but do you remember what I said?"  The answer being "NO", it was confirmed that now EVERYONE was pissed.

Steptoe called Spidey Dick Too back into the circle and had him show off his "liquid grain storage facility".  When asked if he would like to know how to make 5 kilos of ugly fat look attractive, Spidey Dick Too replied:  "By all means!"  The answer…  "Put a nipple on it!"

Basket Case was brought in for being newly named on Wednesday night.

Big Head modeled the new InterHash polo that is now available for purchase.

Dyke Converter came in and sang the Chaing Mai anthem to Lion City…  Zupadah!  Zupadah!  Zupadah-dah!

Astronut closed the circle then was given a last down-down because the clock at the railway station only read 8:15 p.m.

On-On Red lantern!                                                                           

Scribe:  Croc O'Shit.