The Run

The run this week started at exactly 6.05pm.  I can confirm this as I WAS there.  Hare: Running Shit called On-On and the pack started down the grassy slope towards the jungle bit.  That’s as far as I got this week.  Quick u-turn and with my Ipod securely lodged in my ears, I was careful not to attract attention as I made my way (off trail) up Hindhede Road towards that 60 degree slope.  Yeah, I know, what a whoosey hasher I make.  By the time I got back to base at 7pm from going up and down the trail to the top TWICE, most of the pack was already on-site guzzling refreshments, soft and otherwise

Circle Report

Hashers            1^st order of the day

~ The GMs began the Circle by pulling in 2 degenerates from the previous week.  Machine & G-string had got lost AGAIN driving their way to the runsite and they lived walking distance away.  Machine started to claim it was because they had visitors but was immediately shut down by the circle.

~ Croc Hunter and Basket Case (our beloved beer boys) also went to the wrong place ... ehh, Rifle Range Road??

~ GMs then pulled in Colin King, Peeking Ong, Phoney Dick & Front Seat Wanker for being “gay” boys.  Each one of them was caught with their right hand in their front pocket?  What’s the world coming to?

What did we think of the Run?

The verdict was a sober “good run”.  A tad bit too short I figured as most of the pack was in when I got in at 7pm and they were supposed to have done the full run trail.

Next Week’s Hare

Kannot Kan’s run on 20^th June.  Runsite: Mandai Road, Track 15.  “If there is a problem with the venue, it will be somewhere else, otherwise ...” quips KK in the Circle.

Virgin

Gustaff, our only virgin landed in the Circle when he was noticed to have run the hash in his colourfully checked boxer shorts underwear!  This hash is going to the dogs, I say!

Visitors

This week, Circle Jerk sent his list to me instead of to Cock Radio who seem to have developed a technical glitch with opening his attachment in the foreign places he visits.  Hello, stop that brain from straying.  I am talking about Adobe pdf files here!  Visitors: Leech, Wringing Wet, Sharon, Ball Breaker, Wanking, Blow Y’all, Blow Me, Eric, Nobby Boy, Last, Hash Puppy & Steffan graced the Circle and drank their down-downs.

Returnee

Corny Linguist.  I think this could be his last Friday with us for awhile, as he may return to fair Edinburgh next week unless ... he gets that project here that he has been after. .?

Do we have a Hare Whip?: Cherry Picker

1       On in Rooning Shit (RS).  This co-hare took his “leadership” abilities to the extreme.  RS selects the run site, then expects his co-hares to do absolutely everything else.  Cherry Picker summarises that RS must be used to delegating when he is at work and it has unfortunately spilled over to the hash as he notices RS uses a lot of “you” do this and that, instead of “we” should do this and that.  RS, take thy punishment O mighty leader!   

2       Machine for driving to the run site although he lives 5 mins walking distance from it.

3       Ball Breaker (BB) ~ For complaining to the MW at last week’s run that the last time she laid a run on Lion City was 12 years ago.  Too long.  BB then went on to say that the last time she was laid by a German was 2 weeks ago ... [Ed: and it wasn’t Cherry Picker!]

4       On in visitor, Hash Puppy for asking the hare for a hash emergency number just in case he got lost in the jungle!

And now… it’s.. time… for… the…Mystery Whip (1): Ayam Sinking (AS)

Its Friday, the 13^th.  AS arrived late to the runsite.  First, he was chewed off by the security guard when he tried to park his car outside the nearby condo.  Then, Slackarse whipped into the last parking spot as he was trying to negotiate his way into it.  AS finds another parking spot too far away for comfort and spots Slackarse as he tries to find the start of the run.  Slackarse asks if he had shortcut back to the runsite before he even got started.  On in Slackarse for being an annoying slackarse.

And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery,Mystery ... Whip (2): Front Seat Wanker.

1.      To Strapless – for making a lot of noise because hashers were not calling during the trail.  Here’s to handsome, he’s true blue ...

2.     To Peeking Ong – for shortcutting on Bukit Timah Road and cutting out a huge loop on the trail.

3.     To the Japanese harriett's, Back Seat Bonker & G-string for yakking the whole time on the trail to the dismay of the MMW.

Awards ~ Running Shit received a pewter mug full of beer for “completing” 400 runs.

Prick Of The Week

Its baaaack!  Tiger Lily has had this in her possession for 3 weeks.  She calls in Machine (“too many Germans”, the Circle lynch mob scream); G-string & Back Seat Bonker (BSB).  Each were charged with a misdemeanour.  a) Machine lives walking distance away but drove to the runsite, then park miles away coz he could not find a parking spot.  b) G-string home-made mosquito repellent from her essential oil collection for the hares, but it did not work and those damn mozzies managed 4 big bites on the Harrietts.  BSB forgot to bring underwear to change after setting the run and asked TL if she could buy this from haberdash??  Running Shit who’s taken over Haberdash until Long Sufferin’ returned from holiday was all smiles!  A unanimous vote was taken and the POTW was given to BSB.

A.O.B.

1    Astronut called in bald, American guest, Eric into the Circle as he didn’t have a hash name.  Couldn’t hear the charge (too much ruckus from the Circle as they compared Eric’s baldness to the GM’s, hehe).  “From this day forward”, Astronut says to Eric as he goes on bended knee,” the American to be named Baldilocks”

2   Sneaky Cummer pulled in Goody Bag for giving In & Out an “ear orgasm!!”  This is the incomprehensible scribbling, I wrote and can’t quite decipher!  Too much wine, what!

3     Phoney Dick – recalling the Boys of January Run, there was a short cut given where 15 hashers swam a small river and got lost on route back to site.  PD remembers Ayam Sinking giving him a puppy dog look and told him to remind all the swimmers to keep their orifices closed during the swim.

4        Jack Off to the newly knighted Baldilocks – He had not seen such a huge and black POTW.  It was obvious Baldilocks was not very big himself.

5       In & Out finished by singing a song about Harrietts’ “red flag”.

 On-On-On to Karu’s. 

Scribed by Poser until Cock Radio’s return in 3 weeks time ....

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