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Run 1386 The Boys Of January 2nd Annual Run |
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Date : 16th January 2009 |
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Hares : Phoney Dick, Malfunktion, Gecko, Croc O Shit & DITCH. |
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Run-Site : Swiss Club Road
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On On; Red Lantern
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Numbers: Members: 67ran, 2 extra. Guests: male 12, female 6, Total 87
The Run
Through the used car lot at Turf City we went only to be confronted by a tricky Circle Check in the Car Park. Runners searched in all 480 degrees of the compass but to no avail. Finally Cheery Picker calls ‘On on,’ but he wasn’t at all. More searching. At last trail is found in the direction that Tiger Lily had already checked. Are we surprised she missed it? No. Up a hill towards the horses only to find another tricky check at the top. FRB’s were running in all directions like headless chooks while the wiser people stood in the shade on top of the hill watching with amusement and discussing what they were doing for CNY. Finally trail is found 250 metres up the old racecourse and off we went for a gallop. Not too many young colts and fillies in the field but plenty of Draught Horses, some looking like they were ready for the knackery! Into the jungle ferns and then out to another car park. Wait a minute, that’s no car park, it’s the PIE at peak hour standstill. Skirting the PIE, then the slip way to the BKE. Boo found a short cut that kept us away from the road, so in this case I decided to follow Boo rather than inhale more traffic fumes. This involved a commando style roll through a hole under a fence and following a monsoon storm drain. Back to Swiss Club Rd along a drain got us home, although Ayam Sinking found himself actually in the drain and had to search for a ladder out. A fine T shirt distributed to everyone capped off another Boys of Jan Run. Well done guys!
The Circle
What did we think of the Run? ~ Astronut, after canvassing the crowd, declares ‘I think they said a good run!’ So good run it is. Remember, all runs are good. It’s just that some runs are less good than others!
Tell us about your On On? ~ The Red Lantern, 20 courses for $1.20. Value!
Next Week’s Run ~ The Aussie Day Run, featuring all the dinky di Aussies. End of Rifle Range Rd, Monkey Car Park. There will be kangaroos, shark attacks, spider bites, crocodile wrestling and a vegemite sandwich eating contest. Crikey!
Virgins: ~ Erika, who I managed to have sitting on my knee while I got her personal details, for club records of course. Bully came in as an honorary virgin, but no way did he get to sit on my knee. After getting off my knee, Erika went from the pan and into the fire, as she ended up standing next to Coo Chi Coo!
Visitors ~ Sis, Vibrator, Dick Wanker, Knobby Boy Scout, Roger, Fiona, Floral Shirt, Paul, Kasper, Gier, Alex, Lincoln, Lisa, Robin
Returnees~ Dog Shit, Delegator, Shoeless
New Members ~ Annie, Nick, Tracey, Sooch. Welcome to LCHHH
Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Phoney Dick
· Two weeks ago, the On On was at the Red Lantern. Tonight it is the Red Lantern. Next week is the Red Lantern. So who is responsible for this mismanaged lack of communication? As usual, the On Sec is the whipping boy so in I go for my medicine.
· Did Croc o Shit do anything that contributed to this run? Non attendance at meetings, no planning, no recceeing, no setting ......So what was he doing instead? Having his 40th Birthday run for the Monday men instead. ‘He’s the meanest, ……..’
· Running near a golf course tonight, it should be assumed that there could be a few balls lying around in need of some handling, so all the female golfers are brought in and put to the test. Phoney gets his ball bag out from his pants and asks the females to have a fondle and guess how many balls they can feel. After much groping and feeling, it was Juice Extractor who was the expert at ball fondling, correctly counting 19. Strange about the odd number though?
· GM Business ~ Shiggy Piggy dropped a drink, which we all know cannot go unpunished!
· Phoney Dick only got it 50% with the Monday Run birthday celebrations as it was also Ditch’s 50th. Give the old farts a note.
And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Slowcum
Jack Off told him at 5.40 that he was going to be the Mystery Whip tonight. Slowcum’s reply to that was ‘ How the f**ck do you know that?’ Jack Off explains that the GM rang at some stage but Slowcum was busy and she forgot to pass the message on.
Our visitor Lincoln, who brought Erika the Virgin along, will be doing a bit of cleaning up this week. Our Virgin gal ended up with a foot deep in mud, took one look down at the state of her shoe and screamed ‘Lincoln, you have to wash my shoes!’
Slowcum noticed that the leash around Circle Jerk’s neck was even shorter tonight, in fact it could be described as a choker. He only had to get more than 2.5 metres in front of the new wife and he was quickly pulled back and told to heel. After 1 week of marriage, I wonder if he has learnt to beg yet????
Knickerless was wondering why we had to be quiet while checking at the 2nd Circle. It was suggested that she remain hushed while we got past the horses, unless she wanted to be rode by a stallion. ‘Ohh, I haven’t had that for a while,’ was her reply.
Knobby Boy Scout, who tends to make a habit of these shower episodes, ended up in the communal shower without a towel. When Tiger Lily offered him one, he took one look at it and asked for something bigger please! ‘He’s the meanest,……’
Slowcum has a trip down memory lane, involving the traffic lights down the road. It was here 9 years ago that he was running late for the run and was named Slow cum by Bloodshit.
And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~ Aye Aye`
Definitely a headless chicken theme is declared by the MMW. One of the roles of a Hare should be to keep the pack running, so after we searched around like headless chickens at the first Circle for 10 minutes, what did Ditch do? He decided that as a Hare, he should run back and ask his co Hares where the run actually goes! One Hare drinks, all Hares drink!
After a few more Hareless moments, once more the headless chickens were running around the Horses looking for Trail. Eleven came back from searching a path to join the rest of the headless chooks. Loose Change asked her if there was any paper up there to which Eleven said yes, and she couldn’t understand why we were all standing around here. Mmm, maybe calling ‘On on’ might have got everyone moving! ‘She’s all right, she’s all right, she’s a little flat chested but …………’ Stiffy then made a comment that they looked distinctly bigger at the wedding last week.
Phoney Dick, in his religious role for last week’s Hash wedding, had been shining and polishing his rod all week. In fact he spent all Friday painting his staff gold. And did we see this magical work of art at the wedding? No, he forget to bring it. Give stickless a note.
Dominator and Saliva have a drink together for reasons known only to them and Aye Aye.
Ayam Sinking is a rep for the Eastern European man who went to a brothel and found his wife working there. So he divorced her. Gypsie thought that was a rather stupid idea, because then he would have to start paying her for it if they were no longer married! Give the headless fornicator a note.
Milestones ~ Knickerless for 400 runs, she bends over to put her beer down (oh la la) receives her award, then bends over to pick up her beer (oh la la x 2!) Can we give her another award next week for her 401st run, then her 402nd, …. …
The Prick~ As Circle Jerk has had a busy week on the job he is rather worn out, so it is decided that Eleven should keep the prick for another week while Circle Jerk recharges himself.
A.O.B. Any Other Business ~
Loose Change gave the newly weds some romantic candles and asked if they had been used yet? Yes, they were placed in the bathroom.!
Saliva is very concerned about the welfare of Slowcum and C**nt Dracula, are they being properly cared for? There’s Slowcum standing around in a pair of boxer shorts while C**nt Dracula has been reduced to attending the Circle in running shorts. Are their wives not looking after them? Do they not care about the way their husbands look? Are they a case for social welfare or charity? Let’s get them both down to the Salvation Army.
Saliva then mentions the 2 old farts, who after all the other wedding guests had gone home, wanted to kick on and prevented the bride and groom from leaving to perform their rightful duties. Aye Aye and Big Head, learn to go home will you!
Cock Radio saw Phoney Dick before the run standing on the grass area up the road and went and asked him what he was doing. Phoney was recceeing a likely area for the Circle and thought this had potential, but someone said it was full of dog shit. At that moment, a suspicious smell was wafting in on the breeze and I looked down to discover I had plonked my left foot in a pile of dog shit. In you come Dog Shit, now get out from my feet will you!
Kan Not Can queries Eleven as to just who has the upper hand in a marriage. Who organised the run/ Who set the Run? Organised the On On? The T Shirts? Seems it was all left to the groom and Cherry Picker!
Croc O Shit gets stuck into Dick Wanker for going on about a family thing, so all the Dick family is called in. Some confusion as to Cock Radio being a member, but Stiffy is in, as is Penile Extension.
On that note, it’s
On On On On!
Scribed by Cock Radio, yes, I’m back Poser, but where are you?
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