Numbers: Members: 48 ran. extras; 1 Guests:  male: 12, female: 6, Total 67

       The Run

      At 2 minutes to 6, there was a distinct lack of numbers, meaning either that some members were not going to come at all as they didn’t think their car could stand the rigours of travelling all that distance to the East Coast, or there were still a considerable number of lost drivers going around in circles in the back streets of Pasir Ris. Anyway, the Hare warned us of some serious jungle bashing early on. He did not warn us it also required us to negotiate a serious ditch, that may very well have been a trench left over from World War 2.  This required some cooperative teamwork, with the person the other side remaining to help pull the next person up. I envy the male who got to pull up Tiger Lily, all 38 kilograms of her. I got left with helping Penile Extension up, all 138 kilograms of him. Bugger! Anyway, the remainder of the serious jungle was negotiated relatively safely, even by OnHerEar who was making a come back after a couple of weeks of due to injury from a fall. Strange though that all the wounds and scars are on the front of her legs, which would suggest she fell forwards rather than on her rear! A bit of road running with some seriously long T checks brought the pack together nicely. As we turned left down one street, Stash decided that no way would that be correct, no way will the Hare take us through the Industrial Park and it had to be a T check. So back he headed in the opposite direction to search. Well, he got it ½ right, it was a long T check . However, the trail came back out and turned, (still into the industrial Park) where as Stash had come back out and gone straight, and kept on going and going …. And going…. And going… until 2km later he could go no further and had to admit defeat and that yes, the trail did indeed go down into the Industrial Park. Meanwhile, the rest of the pack headed down into what appeared to be a dead end, so Mr. Glue and Tiger Lily headed left at the last street. However, your cunning scribe knew that at the end of the street behind the trucks was a disguised drain with a path that led to a canal, it was not a dead end at all. So casually wondering down that way, and pausing for a moment behind a truck to get my breath, I then called on and ran like hell to put as much distance between me and the FRB’s who were 200 metres up the wrong road. Across the canal and along the other side, the smell of salt air filled our nostrils, along with rotting seaweed, dead fish, diesel oil, …… . Oh well, it could have been romantic. Just as a fleet of tug boats came into view, it was time to duck into the bushes where we were confronted with a creek, complete with a home made raft on a pulley system to make the crossing with. The only thing was it was low tide with barely a drop of water to be seen and the raft was high and dry! But what we were left with was some glorious black mud and Hoorays presence on the other side laughing at everyone trying to keep their feet clean. It was then into Pasir Ris Park for some lovely fast seaside running. A circle check near the bridge had the pack scratching their heads. After consulting a National Parks Locality Map board, I got my bearings and realised that at 6.45 there was only 1 possible way to go. ‘Where are you going?’ inquired Cheeks out suspiciously. ‘Checking’ was my unconvincing reply. Sure enough, there was trail and we were off again. Along the canal, over a little bridge, out onto the road and past Downtown East for a fast work out to home. Well done Handbag, a good work out was had by all.

The Circle

What did we think of the Run? ~ No doubt about it, this was a good run for the Hares first Friday lay, despite there being a bit too much chalk, not to mention the smelly black mud. But what happened to the rest of the hares Family, why didn’t they help him set the run? Goodybag, Bagless and Bagless 2.

Tell us about your On On? ~  Mr. Ho Fish and Chips, salad and FREE beer. ‘What sort though?’ enquires Stiffy, obviously ready for a whinge if it wasn’t to his liking! No doubt this was a very, very good run!

Next Week’s Run ~ Kan Not Can, Bukit Batok, West Avenue 8, Millennium Institution.

Virgins:  ~ Chris, Eddy

Visitors ~    Stifler,  Dick Wanker, Sex Change, Mr.McGlue, Lincoln, Constanin, Jig Gig, Great Balls of Fire

Returnees~  Hungry Bum, Eddie (F**cking An????) Kwee Jong, Lacy Lady, Bagless

New Members ~

Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Handbag

·       It is a bit of a traditon to whip your fellow Hares, so Handbag whips himself. Strangely enough he actually enjoyed that and it appears that he may be experienced at self whipping!

·       Thinking he had all bases covered, The Hare found that he missed one aspect. Did he check his tide charts or consult the moon? ‘Is that a full moon up there?’ asks someone. No, that’s Venus. Handbag then has an alziemers pause as he tries to remember where this charge was going. Oh yeah, that was it. Check your tide charts before selecting a run site.

·       Due to the stress of setting the run, Handbag took the day off. But not having a computer at home, he thought that as he left work Thursday night he should check where this week’s run was.  A definite blonde moment.

·       Going back to the Hash Wedding Run, Handbag recalls how Phoney Dick asked people to bring a fluorescent lamp. After a month or so, he now thinks it is time to own up and show what he took but did not produce when he saw everyone else’s nice little lanterns. And out comes a 36 inch Phillips flouro light tube, big enough to light up half of Pasir Ris. Mmm, perhaps he could try plugging it into his ear.

·       And that brings to a close my interpretation of what Handbag said.

And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Fawlty Towers

·        Fawlty reckons it was a good run, but ……..:

‘Step forward if you pulled your card?’  Not one person steps forward, even the Tug Boats in the Harbour failed to manage a pull tonight. In you come Miss Forgetful Poser.

·        The inlets and creeks on the run brought about some interesting styles from runners as they attempted to negotiate them. There was the Back Seat Bonker style, delicate little tip toe steps seeking out the best way across. Then there was the G String style, consisting of an enormously long run up and an attempt at breaking the world long jump record! Here’s to the creek jumpers.

·        Fawlty Towers is a little puzzled and perplexed about what he is doing in as the M Whip. He was approached by Twin Towers before the run, who asked him if he would be a whip as he would be helping out the GM who was a bit stuck finding someone. No worries, thought Fawlty, anything to help out the Hash and the GM. Little did he  realize he had been totally conned by Twin Towers, who had been asked last week by the GM to be a whip and bailed out at the last minute. Twin Towers reluctantly comes in to face the music, but makes amends by attempting to kick Fawlty with a high leg raise. Of course if you can picture the shortness of the skirts Twin Towers wears, you can realize why all the males were telling her to kick him again. And again. And one more time for the boys. And…..   Sorry Fawlty, we weren’t intending you to get hurt out of all that, it was just a visual thing!!

And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~ Stash, who has managed to return, reluctantly via the industrial park!

·        Handbag told us about his stress with setting the run today, the tides, moon etc forcing him to take a day off. Stash then says, ‘Let me tell you about stress!’ Finding the run site was a struggle, it wasn’t even marked on his Mighty Minds map (1982 edition). Had he brought his passport? Did he have enough fuel? Was it a safe neighbourhood or would he be mugged? Finally he managed to get onto the PIE, only to find it jammed and there wasn’t even an accident. Now that’s stress!

·        Stash relives his experience of negotiating the WW2 trench in the jungle at the start of the run. Totally stressed out, he arrived late and became even more stressed when he arrived at the same time as Astronut. So off the 2 of them go, into the serious jungle. Arriving at the seriously deep trench, they scratched their heads to work out the best way to get across. Actually they didn’t give it a lot of thought as Astronut simply jumped down and was confronted by a 3 metre rise to get out. ‘How the f**ck do I get out of here?’ he shouts up to Stash. So Stash jumps down too and proceeds to push Astronut up from underneath. All is going well until ¾ way up, Astronut loses his vertical momentum, temporarily adopts a sitting position, before e starting to fall back onto Stash’s face. More stress for Stash, with a close up view of Astronut's bum descending slowly onto his face. Ugly.

·        After managing their way out of the ravine and doing some meandering through the trees, Stash finally saw the back of the pack ( was going to write the ‘rear’ of the pack, but probably not a pleasant reminder for Stash after the trench experience) ‘I know that butt in the yellow T shirt,’ thought Stash, and sure enough he did. It was Jig Gig. What a butt! I think there may have been a Monday men’s connection there, better left alone!

·        On the latter part of the run, Stash came across Phoney Dick wandering aimlessly through Pasir Ris Park. ‘Where are you going Phoney?’ he asked.  ‘I don’t know,’ was the honest reply, ‘I couldn’t break the last Circle Check.’ Kan Not Can was absolutely no help, as his trusty compass only managed to find out trail next to the in trail, meaning KNC didn’t know if he was in or outing or coming or going. Give the lost ones a note.

Milestones ~ We want Knickerless!!!

The Prick~ Too far for it to travel today.

A.O.B. Any Other Business ~

·        Stiffy obviously had a prick of a time out on the run and calls in Tiger Lily and Mr. Mc Glue for their total reluctance in breaking checks.

·        Peeking Ong gets in a quick plug for the Men’s Hash celebration Run on March 21^st, featuring the Tom Dick and Harry Band. See Peeking Ong or web site for form.

·        Hoo Ray is in for a rare event, he is actually going to charge someone himself. Apparently some of the KL runners that entertained the Monday men had so much fun they have followed them back to Singapore to run with us this week. They managed to come all the way from KL to run but Croc O Shit couldn’t even make it from Serangoon.

·        At the last run, Dick Wanker was seen breaking the odd rule or two at the Circle. Not only was he sitting in a chair, but while sitting he was also smoking. But not only that, while sitting in a chair, smoking, he was also on his hand phone. Got the trifecta. Did he wear a hat in when he was charged to score the quadrella??

·        Handbag then does his thing, and gets in 4 single women and starts tying them up. Wait, no he doesn’t, he places a blindfold over them and gives them a spin. They are then required to point at the nearest male, without peeping of course!

·        First in is OnHerEar who after a couple of spins without falling over, ends up pointing directly at Cock Radio, who has jumped out of  his scribe chair to stand right in front of her. And OnHerEar reads out her Fortune Cookie style message to Cock radio and says, ‘Will you be mine?’ I think she promptly tendered her resignation from the Hash.

·        Next in is Halfcut, who after a spin points at Phoney Dick, and reading her message announces to him ‘I love you.’ Phoney’s blood pressure took off like a rocket.

·        Tia Marie has her spin, and when asked to point, raises her arm vertically up to the sky. Oh my God, what is she doing! Handbag tells her that man is occupied and lowers her arm, which then points at Penile Extension. Her message to Penile? ‘I miss you.’  Yeah, miss you like a hole in the head!

·        Finally it is Goody Bags turn and as she spins around blindfolded, there is a flurry of action as 15 males leave their place in the Circle to follow her arm around. Who will the lucky guy be? Oh my Buddha, it’s …… it’s…… ,no, ……it can’t be…….., it’s……..

Croc Hunter!! And Goodybag, who can’t believe her luck, or her eyes, not to mention the legality of her spin, tells Croc Hunter ‘You’re a cutie.’

·        The scribe cant let the opportunity of a gathering of 4 single females go missing and races in to collect their phone numbers. For the records of course!

·        Kan Not Can is curious as to why Poser was travelling in one direction on the Park, and told him and Bagless to go the other way. Poser’s excuse was that she was running it twice and was on the way out again. Don’t follow Poser!

·        Kan Not Can was with Lincoln, Strapless and Chicken Shit in the serious jungle, and where looking for an obstacle to stand on so as to gain an elevated position in order to spot trail. ‘That’s because your compass is no good.’ shouts Stash, still dirty that we ran through the Industrial Estate.  But Lincoln almost came to grief at the canal, only the selfless courage, valour, sacrifice and total disregard for his own safety saw Strapless stop him from total disaster.

On that note,

On On On On!

Scribed by Cock Radio.

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