Numbers: Members: 57 ran. Extras; 9 (66) Guests:  male: 11, female: 6, (17) Total 83

       The Run

Ahh, a good remote car park to run from, no housing looking onto us changing, no public walking through, hidden from the road by trucks. Should be no problems with the police tonight! Through the Car Park and out onto Woodlands Rd, a devious Circle Check had the pack going in all directions. But it was yours truly and Running Shit who picked that it was back and into the jungle near the Expressway. Up the hill, Running Shit was moaning how that Check was going to have the Pack too spread out at such an early stage. Around the corner and into the bush was another Circle Check. Shaggy Dick went forward and Coo Chi Coo went into the bush heading for a 50 metre drop into the Quarry. Of course, trail was found back, thus allowing all those runners that Running Shit had been so concerned about to take the lead. Into the bush for a bit of bashing, and it was Ditch who played lumberjack and tried to move a fallen tree. Cheeks Out was on her best behaviour and waited for an overtaking lane before passing anyone. Emerging from the bush onto a newly constructed track, yet another devious Circle Check got the pack back together again. This was obviously a great running area, what a shame it is being cut up and developed. Anyway, a bit of new track running led to another Circle, I have no idea who found the trail but why they would have even thought about checking down that hill I have no idea. And this was the beginning of the very challenging part of the run. The Hare had us slipping and sliding down some treacherous hills and then climbing up out of gullies. Thank heavens it didn’t rain. Croc O Shit stopped and wasn’t convinced that we were on trail at one stage, even when the Hare walked past him. Mr. Potato Head, perhaps worried about the financial crisis, headed off alone towards the edge of a cliff, ‘Don’t do it!’ This was not a run for those suffering from piles as there was a lot of bum sliding to get down some slopes, and if the steepness wasn’t bad enough there were thorns thrown in for good measure. OnHerEar was on her bum most of the way, and no doubt has a few more scars to add to her very impressive collection. Serious, you should have a good look at her legs and arms next week, amazing. At one stage we had to slide down on what appeared to be very richly fertilized dark soil, which would have been perfect for anyone with a lettuce growing out of their bottom ( I won’t explain the rest of that joke, except the punch line is ‘That’s just the tip of the iceberg.’) Cumpuss declared she likes doing it in the jungle, while Juice Extractor told us that she likes it long. Stiffy just did his normal whinging all the way while Dim Sum took some regular time out stints to sit and admire the scenery.  Eventually the Hare got us out of the pits onto Woodlands Rd and over into the Car Park in around the 1 hour 15 mark. That was a seriously challenging run, well done Ripper, and it would have taken a few recees.

The Circle

With Running Shit standing in for Astronut, some resemblance of law and order was established and a Circle was sort of created.

What did we think of the Run? ~ Definitely a challenging good run. In fact it was a ripper of a run.

Tell us about your On On? ~ Fung Hung Chin (the Keg) restaurant.

Next Week’s Run ~ The Japanese Gals, end of Arcadia

Virgins:  ~ Rebecca, Martin

Visitors ~    Richard, Lincoln, Too Easy, Dianna, Peter, Legaless, Roger, Fiona, Stiffler, Tambourine Man

Returnees~ Bagless, Kwee Jong, Land Lady

New Members ~

Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Ripper.

·       Since last week, all Ripper has heard from a certain hasher is ‘Hash Shit.’ At last weeks Circle, the announcement of this run was greeted with ‘Hash Shit.’ Before the run ‘Hash Shit.’ During the run ‘Hash Shit.’ But after the run this same person came up to ripper and congratulated him with ‘Good Run!’ Is Hooray mellowing with ager??

And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Bagless (The Original)

·        ‘My fellow ancient Hashers.......’   Now wait a moment, we resemble that remark! Bagless observed 2 Hashers at the end of the run congratulating each other, shaking hands, embracing, slapping each other on the back. Anyone would think they had just finished a marathon. In comes Running Shit and Shaggy Dick 2, who immediately start slapping each other on the back again for being charged.

·        Shoe Shopper was charged for crimes committed against Hashing while GM.

·        Dim Sum was seen destroying the Singapore jungle at one stage tonight. He ended up with a fallen tree on his head. Leave the trees alone Timber Lim!

And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~  Stash

·        Stash tells us that he had no shortage of unknowing culprits who were willing to confess their deeds to him. Croc O Shit was dumb enough to actually say to Stash during the run. ‘You’re not the Mystery Whip are you?’

‘No,’ replies Stash.

‘Good, then I’ll tell you why I was late.’ says a relieved Croc O Shit.

As if Stash is going to declare that he is a Mystery Whip! What is it about the word ‘Mystery,’ you don’t understand? Crikey!

Well, if that wasn’t enough, Croc then went on to explain why he was late. It appears that when Croc hears the words ‘Woodlands Rd,’ he believes that you have to end up in bloody Woodlands. So on his way to the run site he ends up slightly north of the run site and on seeing the Kranji Race Track turns left instead of right and ends up in the Turf Club Car Park, repeating the mistake that he made only a few weeks ago on the way to the Men’s Hash. He then further complains that he was slowed down by his unbalanced bike, due to a technical fault with his high tech shower. Somehow I don’t believe that it is the bike that is unbalanced! A few of us watched him using his hi tech shower after the run. After failing to get any water to come out of the shower head, he dismounted the water tank from the back of his bike and tipped it over his head. Very hi tech.

·        Stash was abused by Stiffy, who mentioned that all the American icons were crashing and collapsing. Stash happened to ask him how the British pound was doing?

·        Stash was running along with Coo Chi Coo and then he was suddenly not running along with Coo Chi Coo. Where did he go? Seems he disappeared down a wee little hole. Holey shit.

·        Machine is someone who Stash has always looked up to. He always runs trail, never short cuts etc etc. But tonight he did a bit of ‘speculating’ on where the run might go, and of course he was incorrect and ran the wrong way.

·        Cherry Picker has been having trouble with his English, confusing a Goody Bag give away at a party and our own running Goody Bags who wears the short shorts. We don’t give away our Goody Bags!

·        Speaking of Goody Bags, whose running top was riding up a few times tonight on the run, revealing a fair bit of flesh, proved too much for Dim Sum. As he watched all this flesh disappearing down hill in front of him, he was forced to stop and sit down no fewer than five times while he recovered.

·        Milestones ~

400 Runs~ Bully. Well done but he has retired for the evening. Let’s hope he makes 401!

The Prick~ Croc O Shit has still got his hands on it!

A.O.B. Any Other Business ~

·        Coo Chi Coo informs us that along with Desperate Housewives, we now have Desperate Housemen.  2 men used face book to send birthday greetings and Valentines to No Good recently. I quote CCC, ‘How desperate!’

·        No Good has noticed that every week Lincoln brings a new virgin. Then what does he do? He leaves it up to them if they want to come back again.

·        Penile Extension tells us that whenever the UK has been in trouble, they have always been able to rely on the Scots for help. With the Royal Bank of Scotland last week posting the biggest loss in history by a British company, things may have just changed.

·        Shaggy Dick 2 came across Shoe Shopper in the car park who was attempting to put on her knee support bandage but was having some obvious difficulty. There she was on her back with her leg up in the air, pulling and tugging at it but getting nowhere. SD2 does the gentleman thing and helps her. So there they both are in the middle of the car park, Shopper on her back and SD2 standing over her engaged in a tug of war to get the bandage on. With no success, except getting a good look up Shopper’s shorts, Shaggy examines the bandage and explains to Shopper why she was having so much trouble. It was not a knee support at all, it was an ankle support! Give the blonde a note!

·        Stash noted that the female virgin was at the top of a steep descent, waiting her turn to descend down the treacherous slope. Or was she waiting for a knight in shining armour to take her hand and guide her down. Along comes Cock Radio, who apparently had promised to look after her, but instead of rescuing her, goes straight past her, finds his own way down and continues on his merry way! Chance gone begging. Bugger.

·        Boo was given an honorable mention by Stash for copying the American’s run at Track 7 last Wednesday and complaining about cramp.

·        Kan Not Kan remembers that Too Easy was a Hare last Wednesday, and was responsible for setting a rather shiggy run. What did she do tonight? Skirted as widely as possible around every bit of shiggy she saw!

·        And somewhere among all of the above, we managed to get a visit from the Police, acting on a report of a large gathering in a car park!

On that note,

On On On On!

Scribed by Cock Radio.

And watch out for kamikaze mini bus drivers in the car park. Obviously he had a bad day!

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