|
Run 1395 The Alan Power Memorial Run |
|
|
Date : 20th March 2009 |
|
|
Hares : Stiffy, Cock Radio, Slowcum, Jack Off, Not Tonight, Penile Extension |
|
|
Run-Site : Singapore Cricket Club Fields, Loewen Rd
|
|
|
On On; Ballymoons for Irish Stew
|
|
Numbers: Members: 71 ran, walked, hobbled. Extras; Guests: male: 10, female: 14 (24) Total 95
The Run
Well, after setting the Run and wanting to conserve some energy for the Men’s Run the next day, I decided to not run around again, instead opting to sit back and have a beer with the wounded Peeking Ong. But this is what I think probably happened. Hooray found no less than 9 short cuts. Boo led half the pack on a short cut. Tiger Lily called ‘Are you?’ no less than 23 times. Circle Jerk completed 17 separate 360 degree loops while waiting for Eleven, Stiffy found 9 things to complain and whinge about, Boo called out ‘Too many guilohs,’ 8 times, Shaggy Dick 2 went through 6 T Checks as he followed Tiger Lily, OnHerEar found 3 locations to fall over on and add to her impressive collection of scars on her legs, there would have been a 6 car pile up on Tanglin Rd when Goody Bag and Twin Towers ran past and Quickie would have been heard swearing and using vulgar language the whole way around. Mmm, ok, I could be wrong on that last point.
Anyway, while all this was going on, the run site began to look like a war zone as injured runners hobbled in. Dominator was first in and soon had an ice pack on her leg. Several others made their way back in need of treatment, unable to finish the run, including Running Shit who did an ankle.
So where did the pack go, as I sat back with an ale? (this is the Run as seen through the eyes of a Hare when setting the run!)A loop around the Dempsey shopping area, including a T check down the bottom of the old steps that lead to the Fields. Following a drain, we found the only way to get out was to unknowingly short cut through the back of a preschool. Sorry, honest mistake. A big Circle Check up next to St. George’s Church was followed by an even bigger T Check almost all the way out on Tanglin Rd. Back into a nicely hidden drain between the houses for a bit of street running before heading through a derelict old building(was it haunted?) and emerging at Ridley Park. In setting the run, we were following a map supplied by Stiffy that simply said ‘Ridley Park’ but in actual fact we found 4 separate Ridley Parks. As we managed to take 3 incorrect Ridley Parks, this resulted in a an extra 3 T Checks being inserted as we had to retrace our way back along the trail we had already laid. This was quickly followed by a Circle Check at a location where we had no idea which way to go. Finally it was out onto Tanglin and along a Park Connector through the HDB’s. Across the Road to the Queenstown Remand Centre, along the fields, then back in to suburbia and through to the Golf driving Range to emerge back at the Fields along the little drain. Good Run!
The Circle
What did we think of the Run? ~ Good run it was
Tell us about your On On? ~ Ballymoon for Irish Stew
Next Week’s Run ~ The Eurasians, East Coast.
Virgins: ~ Rachel, Deirdre, Ronan.
Visitors ~ Recipric***t, Dog Mount,ClaireBrogan, Bruce, Jurrassic Dick, Mel, Lethal Weapon, Octopussy, Crystal, Blathnaid
Returnees~ Bagless, Malfunktion, Deceased, Melons, Lap Dancer, Dog Shit, King Lear
New Members ~ Legoless
Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Slowcum
Slowcum immediately lets Stiffy know what he thinks of his mapping skills and directions. On Stiffy’s map- take Ridley Park Rd. In reality – at least 4 Ridley Parks! Which one lah, it’s all a bit of a riddle.
Cock Radio then gets stuck into Stiffy as well. This was our 3rd change of run site in order to stay sweet with the public and the police. And what did we find when we arrived to set the run? No, not a police car but a van full of Ghurkhas. Crikey!
I also received a text msg earlier in the day. ‘Are you a Hare?’ Yes. ‘Will the there be any shortcuts?’ Yes. ‘That’s good, because I just got my hare done and I don’t want to spoil it with too much running.’ In you come Twin Towers, doesn’t her hair look lovely?
Stiffy received a complaint about the memorial T shirt, isn’t the star a bit smaller mentioned a Hasher who was stretching his memory back 2 years. Stash, don’t be so particular.’ No, no, it wasn’t me,’ declares Stash. A rather sheepish Cherry Picker then owns up. Yeah, all Germans and yanks look the same to Stiffy.
Jack Off provides some defence to Stiffy’s mapping skills by accusing Slowcum of leading us down the wrong Ridley Park 3 times. After the 3rd dead end, she had had enough.’ Give me the f**king Map,’ she shouted, snatching it from her partner. And sure enough, she had instant success, getting us onto the correct Ridley Park.
And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Shaggy Dick 2
At 10 to 6, Big Head tells him she needs a whipping. Or rather, can he be a whip for her. Whatever. SD2 puts on his stopwatch, and sure enough, it’s not long until he has his first catch. In fact it took him only 37 seconds. ‘I need a virile young male,’ proclaims Octopussy. Well, there are 2 young Gaelic footballers suggests a friend. ‘What? Only 2 of them!’ complains Octopussy
2/3 of the way along the park connector, with Tiger Lily 7 kms in front out of sight, one Hasher was running along nicely enjoying the sights and having a wonderful time, until it dawned on him there was no one else around at all. Come to think of it, there aren’t any trail markings. Kan Not Can was having such a good time, he didn’t notice that the rest of the pack, apart from Tiger Lily, had turned off 5kms back.
Near the top of the hill where SD2 was having a shower after the run, he observed a runner (???) coming back down the hill the wrong way. Loose Change. She was followed shortly after by Phony Dick on his bike. 5 minutes later followed Coo Ch Coo and 25 minutes later Circle Jerk and Eleven. Did anyone come back the right way?
And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~
Phoney Dick
With his own light supply, Phony proceeds to interpret a few Chinese names, and it seems that Coo Chi Coo has a connection with ‘we f**ck frozen meat. Mmm, a chilling thought, although CCC tells me he has met a few frigid girls. He then respectfully mentions a death notice from the Straits Times, a member of the Shit Family, Lye In Shit.
He then burst into his own version of Chuck Berry’s ‘My Ding a Ling.’ Unfortunately I have misplaced the lyric sheet he gave me, but I can tell you the next verses involved himself, his bike, Goody Bag and his ding a ling that was doing a bit of rising due to her Butt being enticing while he was dinking her.
Milestones ~ 400 to Bully. Crikey! No bull mate?
The Prick~ Croc O Shit has still got his hands on it!
A.O.B. Any Other Business ~
Running Shit does an in depth explanation of the 1400th Run that was as clear as mud! But basically, once more, to run it for free you must do 3 things.
1. Register by 31st March
2. Have Q2 subs paid
3. Attend the AGM
If you miss on any one of the above 3 items, you will need to pay $35 to enter the 1400th run.
Little John observed Strapless surrounded by a bevy of beauties at his house, helping to prepare for the men’s celebration run. There were girls everywhere. If Fagsucker had been here, he would have lent Strapless some appropriate assistance, and Little John produces the giant blue tablet to perk him up a bit.
Tiger Lily calls in Goody Bag and points out that she looks like she is dressed up for Oktoberfest. Well, only 6 months to go, nothing like being prepared.
Tiger Lily then tells how she received a call from a Hasher who was holidaying in Perth, but needed some very important information. ‘Which day is Good Friday?’ was the question that Twin Towers had to dial a friend for. Probably will be the day before Easter Saturday, and 2 days before Easter Sunday. What religion are you anyway?
Tiger Lily then gives the transsexuals a plug, or whatever it is that you give transsexuals. Cherry Picker comes in as a rep. or a look alike, for his lovely flowery shirt. Is this a bit harsh after the Japanese gals gave all the men a nice shirt with lovely pink flowers on it last week????
Coo Chi Coo, going back to Phony Dicks earlier charges on Chinese names, tells how he received a call from Chow Cock and it took him 5 minutes to answer because he couldn’t stop laughing.
It was then mentioned that the Straits Times advertised ‘New deadline for obituaries.’ Which Kan Not Can found so amusing he broke into a jig.
Ayam Kampung is the Birthday Gal, she’s really just a spring Chicken, and she breaks into a solo performance of the Chicken Dance.
And the Circle ends with a stirring version of the Fields of athenry, which left tears in more than a couple of eyes. Well done Aye Aye and Wet Patch, and the other 2 singers I missed, sorry I had a tear in my eye.
On that note,
And yes, we certainly did ‘Run the F**cking Hash!’
On On On On!
Scribed by Cock Radio.
On-Back to Weekly Scribe Reports Index.
On-Back to Lion City HHH homepage.