The Run

As seen (or not seen!) by Saliva

The pack went down Rifle Range road...then left down the slope into the forest. Bully decided he would not go down that route, so he retraced his steps towards the starting point. He figured the pack was basically going the same direction along the low track, so he would meet them somewhere ahead if he stuck to the high road. So that’s what he did....and we followed Bully (any excuse to avoid the hazards of hashing!)

I seem to recall we came across flour as soon as we started down towards the pipe line, but wait a minute.......was that the end of the in-trail? If the description of this run was not the same as what you did, it would be because we did the run backwards. We were following a different lead drummer.....Bully. You can blame him for leading us astray. Nevertheless, we were on flour, paper and chalk most of the way. We did turn right when we reached an embankment. We trod along and eventually over-took the “walkers”, turning left. The walkers then turned left along the board walk, while we proceeded in the direction of the Ranger’s station. Somewhere between the Ranger’s station at MacRitchie and Rifle Range Road, we were overtaken by the first FRB, Mr. Potato Head. He came charging down the path, chest out, back rod straight, looking for the next check, but then the trail peters off. He back-tracked looking for the next trail, but we continued along towards Tree Tops walk, and picked up the trail there. Then it was left turn towards the covered reservoir. As we approached the covered reservoir, out came Running Shit heading the opposite direction....and he claimed he was on paper... There was a chalked arrow on a covered manhole pointing in the direction that we just came from. By now I was really puzzled...how could we be on the “in trail” when the arrow was pointing the opposite direction? Somehow Aye Aye was not bothered. Steam was coming off my head trying hard to make sense of all this. We continued walking in the direction opposite where the arrow pointed, following the flour trail that appeared to be rubbed out. Eventually we came across the “La Maison” sign, so we knew we were indeed on home trail. By the time we made it past the pipe-line, we were joined by other late runners. Two of the the Hares, Croc O’Shit and Pole Dancer were there to chastise us lot for being too slow...I looked at my watch and it was only 7.05 pm! How could we be home by that time when we were not FRBs, and we did follow paper most of the way? Was this a technical hash shit run?

The Circle

The circle was called into order at around 8.05 pm by the GM and a visiting ex-LCHHH Grand Mistress, Hot Lips.  

What did we think of the Run? ~ The unanimous verdict was that of a good run and a very classic designer T-shirt to add to our collection ...well done and thanks to Hares, and we love this T-shirt! The French do have good tastes!

At 45 minutes for the first runner in, it would have been a Hash Shit run, but the GM decided that in this case, it was not the Hares’ fault. Shoe Shopper and Ripper had led the pack astray, calling “On On” when they were not on paper hence cutting out sections of the trail. Shoe Shopper and Ripper were punished with a “down down” for misleading the pack.

Tell us about your On On? ~ only $12 per head at Le Rouge Lanterne^ (The Red Lantern)... and yes, we would be served Frogs’ legs!! 

Next Week’s Run ~ Slocum and Jack-Off’s wedding anniversary run at Kampong Chantek. On On at Red Lantern (and why not... after all, that’s where it all began

Virgins:  ~ “She left” and Patricia

Visitors ~    Richard, Emanuel, Mike, Maria, Sweet Pores, Who gave the Fxxk, Beth, Tigh’s the the Limit (sounds like), Marsha, Judy. (Sorry if I got your names wrong...blame the On-Sec for taking away the name list before I noted the names)

Returnees~ Malfunktion, Pin Up, Hot Lips, Shaggy Dick.

New Members ~ Reciprocant (Roger), Fiona, Judy, and Bagless

Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Croc O Shit

·        Kan Not Can (or Can Not Kan?) was called in for taking unnecessary risks on the run. What did he do? I think it was something about hurtling down an un-charted path thus endangering his family jewels? But his hash name means “Cannot Come” so How Come?

·        All the 5 Hares were called in. Of the 5, only 2 were French. One of them was the real Hare. Marie (Croc O’Shit’s wife) who was the only other French in the group did not reccee or set the run, nor has she acquired a hash name. Hence it was down down for Marie for being a French Royalty. (Gosh, good thing we did away with the guillotine!!)

·        Croc O’Shit deemed it an honour to work with the French, whom he credited for saving the world in 1700....but before he could finish his sentence, the Circle called out “bull shit”, so he had to down a glass of poison for his incredulous assertion!!

·        Well actually what he meant was that the English needed to learn about safe sex from the French. After all, UK had the highest teenage pregnancy in Europe. His two co-hares were roped in to demonstrate the various safe and unsafe positions which I had duly noted on my note pad. Croc O’Shit then gave a note of thanks and appreciation for his co-hares.

·        Saliva, scribing the proceedings was then called into the circle by the Acting Grand Mistress, Hot Lips, for being too diligent and not leaving out the fine details in documenting the sex positions. She had drawn them all......but sorry we now cannot publish these drawings for your benefit because someone had hijacked them while Saliva was in the circle taking her “down down”.

And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Twin Towers

·        Goody Bag – a committee member who did not know anything about the AGM run. Down down for asking the obvious of Twin Towers who was not even a Committee member.

·        Poser – being a “poser”, she liked to drive around town in her Porshe, but Twin Towers revealed that Poser did not have any sense of direction because she would shoot past her home and get off the wrong bus stop. Twin Towers thought she could do with a box of crayons to mark her home trail..so that’s what she was given.  

·        Fawlty Tower – for riding a bike with his “family jewels” hanging out. Oops, he forgot to wear his jock straps!!

·        Wet Patch – trying to start a fashion trend, running with mismatched sandals. He got a down down instead of a stream of followers. Had Shoe Shopper anything to do with this?

And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~  

Kan Not Can

·        Milestones ~  

The Prick~ Armless was giving his Prick away. Too Good and 2 other male hashers whose names I had forgotten (memory stopped functioning by that time of evening) were appointed by Armless to be the 3 American Idol look-a-like judges. Armless and Bully had earlier plonked them-selves by the drinks stand vetting the bottoms of all female hashers bending over to get their drinks. Their task was to short-list 3 candidates with the sexiest G-strings. Twin Towers, Goody Bag, and Saliva were shortlisted into the circle. After much deliberation by the judges, the Prick went to Saliva for being a “Knickerless” look-a-like (according to Pin Up, it was actually an NTUC pair of skin shorts at bargain price of $2 for 10...)

A.O.B. Any Other Business ~

On On On On!

Scribed by Saliva, sitting in for Cock Radio

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