The Run

Well, it was a Good Friday because it was a public holiday and we could all sleep in. However, Mother Nature decided not to take the day off and dumped a couple of inches of rain on Singapore, including the run site, just as the Hares were setting out to lay the run. Throw in some lightning and thunder just to add to the excitement.

Fortunately it had all stopped by 6pm and the GM tried hard to get everyone to gather round. As everything was explained, one group continued talking, led by C**nt Dracula. ‘What run is it?’ the GM asks him. ‘1392’ is the clueless reply. ‘’no, 1398, now shut up and listen!’Finally we set off along the PUB fence line, just for something different. A T Check soon had the pack back tracking into the bush and searching for trail down a rather perilous embankment onto a path. Aye Aye headed off to the right and Boo to the left. Boo found paper and commenced taking a fair swag of visitors with him, while Ripper said no, he has gone through a T Check facing the other way and that we needed to turn back, crawl up the perilous embankment, make our way through the mud, thorns and bush, down an embankment and end up on the track that boo had fled along, and just 20 metres from where we had been 10 minutes ago. ‘But at least we followed trail and we can feel good for it.’ claimed Ripper. Yeah Ripper, sure.

A T Check along a canal soon had everyone back together again, and we were out onto road at Kampong Chantek. Under the fly over and along the edge of the PIE, we were headed towards Mayfair Park. At the drain, I could see runners walking up the hill the other side, and as we crossed the drain, Penile Extension saw paper on the tunnel leading back under the PIE. Oh those cunning Hares, you can’t fool us with a T Check up the top of the hill. So into the tunnel went Penile Extension, Croc O Shit and myself. The bats became too much for Croc, who turned back. Penile and I made it through to the stream, where we found paper. Unfortunately it turned out to be old Kampong paper from 3 weeks ago, which led us to the bridge on the Durian Trail where we found fresh flour and Astronut and Aye Aye heading for home. Aye Aye quickly informed us that we had missed a few loops of the run (more than a few actually) but he failed to explain what he was doing back here so quickly himself as he had not been sighted after the first 300 metres heading along the path in the opposite direction to everyone else.

Meanwhile, there was no bloody T Check back up the hill the other side of the Tunnel, and the rest of the pack made its way past Mayfair Park and out onto the Malaysian Railway line. Despite Tiger Lily giving the Hares a slight scare, from there it was into the jungle for what I believe was some nice trail running to eventually come out onto Rifle Range Rd, via Machine and Harumi’s house where Tiger Lily wanted to make a quick pit stop. Ahh, a welcome Champagne drink stop! Drinks were capably served by Slowcum and his twin, Fat Crashing Bastard, who it seems, had only 1 task to do for the day, and that was to serve drinks. It was then back via the Durian loop in about 1 hour, so well done Hares on a fine run.

The Circle

The circle was called into order at around 8.05 pm by the GM and a guest ex GM, Shoe Shopper.

What did we think of the Run? ~ Fairly good run was heard, then on reminding about the drink stop it became quite a good run.

Tell us about your On On? ~ Red Lantern, something about needing smelly people to go! 

Next Week’s Run ~ Pin Up and Hot Lips look a likes Cheeks Out and Little John come in and start telling us about the run at Lorong Lada Hitam, and the meeting at 3.00 and golf umbrella and ……… Umm, Little John, that is the AGM Run the following week!

Next week is the Railway Station, Bukit Timah. 6pm!

Shoe Shopper commenced reading the guest list, but was struggling seeing the names in the dark. Umm, Shopper, why don’t you use the little torch you have in your other hand??

Virgins:  ~ Cassandra, Nicolette, Tim, Andy, Erik

Visitors ~    Richard, Colin, Rebecca, Ivan, Fat Crashing Bastard, John, Philip, Jus Avery, Sex Change, Confused, Sophie, Sandra, Lethal Weapon, Marten, Dog Mount, Black Member, Simone

Returnees~ Wanky Poo, Herr Linguist, Cunning Linguist, Mouthful, Down Under

New Members ~ Stiffler, Too Easy

Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Slowcum starts off.

·        A Japanese look a like for Tiger Lily is Jack Off, Fat Crashing Bastard as the drink steward and Aye Aye because he short cutted. (at least his short cut got him to the drink stop!!) Fat Crashing Bastard was standing setting up the drinks stop when he looked up and commented to Slowcum, ‘I think you have a problem, here comes the Pack!’

‘No, it can’t be’ exclaimed Slowcum, ‘they should have another 20 minutes to go.’

Wait a moment, it’s Tiger Lily leading the way, she has missed a whole loop!

‘Back you go, back, back,’ shouted Fat Crashing Bastard, shooing and waving his arms in the air.

·        Slowcum then congratulates Jack Off while she is in the Circle on their Anniversary and for being a great wife. ‘Wait a minute’ says Jack Off, ‘ I’m still Tiger Lily.’ Woops. Hope they make it to number 7!

·        Jack Off was laying the run but the rain was so intense she kept losing sight of Slowcum and couldn’t see him more than 5 metres away. But is Slowcum capable of going fast enough to get more than 5 metres away from Jack Off???? I think she was pretty safe.

And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Little John.

·        Allegedly Wet Patch is capable of speaking English? Yes he replies. And loud? Yes he shouts. And melodious? Yes he sings. Can you say on. On. Can you say on twice? On on. Then can you start saying it on the run? Wet Patch defends himself by trying to divert blame onto Machine, but we can’t blame them for everything!

·        Cock Radio and the GM have apparently done a good job on confusing Little John on member’s status regarding the AGM Run. ‘If I am paid up, if I have registered, if I attend the Agm, then I can run for free? Asks the confused one. ‘Correct! Reply the confident Committee.  ‘Is this in accordance with the Constitution?’ asks the confused but now technical as well one. ‘Of course!’ reply the confident ones. ‘And does the AGM start at 2.30 or 3, and …………..’ goes on the confused one further.  ‘Ok, enough is enough,’ say the still confident ones, ‘you will be hearing from our lawyer on this. Boo, can we see you about a libel case’

And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~  

Knickerless, and yes, she bent over to put down her beer !!

·        Henpecked males are in first. Machine, Fat Crashing Bastard, Stiffy.

First, Machine was seen getting out of the car and setting up the Haberdash wardrobe for his wife. Nice touch. Getting out the plastic stand to hang the clothes on, he carefully assembles it, straightens it carefully, checks it is all put together tightly, then stands back admiring it and says ‘Beautiful isn’t it?’ What has happened to him, Is this THE MACHINE?????

Next is Fat Crashing Bastard, who was asked by the Velcro’s when he was available to help reccee and set up the run. Every day and time put to him was knocked back by his wife, who was standing next to him, with excuses ranging from ‘you will be out of the country,’ to ‘no, you have to paint the living room that weekend,’ to ‘no, that is when you are replacing the toilet bowl.’

Stiffy is here on the Run, but where is Not Tonight? She is on a cruise. Why didn’t Stiffy go on the cruise with her? He wasn’t allowed.

Just to reinforce her statement, she gets in 3 visiting macho military men. And where are your wives? Home where they should be. Then one disclosed he was looking for a wife, one for an ex wife and one was smacking a monkey.

·        Milestones ~  

The Prick~ Saliva has taken the Prick for a holiday!

 A.O.B. Any Other Business ~

·        Fat Crashing Bastard noticed that Croc o Shit is looking after some of our visitors tonight. The 3 French Gals have a list of our Hash songs and lyrics so that they can sing along, which is a really nice thought. But some of the songs are missing, are they in French? Has he changed the wording on some of them? ‘He’s the meanest, he sucks the horse’s …… ‘ was number 1 one the list

An appropriate French song is then sung for Croc O Shit - Monsieur, …..

·        The GM’s have picked up on the obvious naming opportunity that arose before with one of our visiting military men. ‘You will forever be known as ‘Spank the Monkey.’ Arise, Spank the Monkey.

·        Coo Chi Coo brings in another of the military visitors, who tells us he is actually a Commando. Have they changed the height requirements to get into the Army? This guy is only the same height as Coo Chi Coo! Could be a tunnel specialist!

·        Coo Chi Coo tells of a blonde moment that Cheeks Out, who was rather confused about what loop she had missed, as she hadn’t seen or noticed any loop, which would probably be the one she missed because she didn’t see it. Oh, I don’t know, now she sending me loopy trying to write up the bloody charge!

·        Another naming opportunity comes up, as one of our visitors is wearing a rather colourful animal pattern hat. However confusion sets in over whether it is a tiger. Lion or leopard pattern and so the naming goes begging. Perhaps a generic name could have been used, such as ‘Pussy on Head’ or ‘Puss Head’

·        Stiff can understand a bloke with a big smile on his face for the first month or so after getting married. But Slowcum still has a big smile on his after 6 years of marriage. Why? Apparently BJ’s are still on the menu and served frequently. No more detail please!

·        Simone is brought in by Shoe Shopper as a fellow Aussie, but was lacking some attire to wear on her feet after the run, so she asked Jack Off for a lend of her thongs. (Aussie for flip flop) Jack Off, having just showered with them on, hands them to Simone, who slips one on and exclaims ‘Your thong is wet!’ Simone is now to be known as ‘Wet Thong.’

On On On On!

Scribed by Cock Radio

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