The Run

The Railway Station is booked, a wise move, and it is a lovely evening for a run, as off we go down to Bukit Timah Rd and over the footbridge. Astronut, being street wise, immediately smelt a rat, and proceeded very slowly up the steps. Sure enough, the smell of a T check was overwhelming. Astronut had only proceeded up 2 steps when the call was made, thus proving him very wise. Seeing a group of walkers coming towards us down the track on the other side of the railway line, I headed off to search along King Albert. But no, the silly walkers had turned around and it was on back towards the railway workers huts opposite the Station. Spotting a late comer in a taxi heading towards the Railway station, but looking rather lost, I offered them directions and got myself a taxi trip to catch up to the back of the pack. I don’t think anyone saw that little cunning manoeuvre. Reaching the field on Blackmore Drive, after negotiating some foul smelling yellow mud, trail was found heading up onto the road. Runners were forced to dodge model aeroplanes of all sorts as they whizzed about the sky. Wiser heads decided to head straight across the field towards Old Holland Rd, some of the notable wiser heads being Penile Extension, Comes Quietly, Strapless, Astronut and yours truly. The wise ones. Surely the pack would be coming down to us soon, as what could we see across the other side of the drain? Yes, paper! Across the pipe we go, following the paper along the canal and then up into the jungle. Still no sign of the pack.

This is because meanwhile, the rest of the pack was following tarmac down towards Bukit Timah Rd, until the 2nd of two checks took them to Garlick Rd where a rather wet tunnel awaited. Through the tunnel and finally to the drain where we had sneaked along much earlier. The wise ones still have dry feet, which are very important in the tropics, don’t want to get a fungal disease.

Well, by now, the dry footed wise ones, minus Comes Quietly who was not so wise as he fell down a precipice and did his ankle/knee/leg, had come to a Circle Check in a clearing at the back of Houses. Being the wise ones they are, they headed down hill to Green Leaf Park, but no sign of trail. Mmm, well if we keep going towards the railway line, we should find trail going into the jungle. Up to the railway bridge on Old Holland, and there is the wisest of all, Sharon Batu, making her way towards us. But she tells us trail is not up here at all, it is back down Old Holland Rd towards the field. Now that doesn’t sound very wise to us, but as it is Sharon Batu, we turn away from the jungle and head down Old Holland Rd. Eventually we do find trail, as well as our fellow wounded not so wise one, Comes Quietly, who is hobbling with the walkers. Turn left before the field and along the edge of the drain, up through some jungle to emerge onto the railway line for the sprint back to the station. The wise ones were back in just under 50 mins, and enjoying a cold beer as the rest of the pack led by Tiger Lily arrived in a bit over an hour. All in all, a very wise run.

The Circle

The circle was called into order at about the time the train to KL pulled into the Station and awaited for the ‘Fast’ train from KL to pass through. Some 15 minutes later the passengers were still hanging out the doors and windows trying to make sense of our Circle. Just as well they weren’t waiting for the ‘slow’ train to come through, they would have come and joined us at the Red Lantern.

What did we think of the Run? ~ Over the noise of the train, I think I heard good run being mentioned, so wisely that is what I wrote down.

Tell us about your On On? ~ Red Lantern, or take the train to KL Chinatown!

Next Week’s Run ~ Bukit Batok Heavy Vehicle Car Park, it won’t be a train run. Then on to the Greasy Spoon!

Big Head takes a drink for being away for a few weeks and no one noticing. Welcome back!

Virgins:  ~ Afraid not. Come on Lincoln, bring us some more!

Visitors ~    Slip & Slide, Ass Licker, Sabina, Andrew, Ingrid, Juengen, Harriet, Rusty Tits, Lethal Weapon, Dog Mount,

Returnees~ Land Lady, Kwee Kwong, Deceased, Hot Lips, Pin Up

New Members ~

Do we have a Hare Whip? ~ Yes, we do, Pin Up is in with a quiz.

3 intelligent people are required, which on the Hash is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Anyway, Astronut, Saliva and Cock Radio are decided on as look a likes for intelligence. The quiz begins, with the aim of eliminating the weakest link. Everyone gets through the first round safely, but then Saliva gets a tough one and is out. Astronut finally answers incorrectly on what GPS stands for, as the quiz master informs him it is Get Pissed Slowly. It’s down to the wisest one of the bunch, yours truly, who correctly answers when the next Lion City Celebration Run will fall on a Saturday that coincides with a Kampong Run. With a bit of mathematical deduction, and using my GPS, I came up with the correct answer (can’t remember now what it was, some time in about 5 years!) So where was this leading?  Basically because the AGM run had been put back a week, allowing for Kampong, which meant Hot Lips and Pin Up wouldn’t be in Singapore for our Celebration Run. Oh well, book in for 5 years time!

And now… it’s…. time…, for… the…. Mystery ... Whip: ~ Cheeks Out

·       Not Tonight is in as a look a like mother and Hot Lips as her daughter look a like. Mother found daughter foundering in the jungle at a check, not knowing where to go. This way, that way, oh I don’t know. 2 damsels in distress.

‘Did anyone check down there?’ asks someone.

‘Yes’ replies damsel in distress number 1.

‘Did he come back?’ is the next question.

‘No,’ replies damsel in distress number 2.

‘Who was it? is the next question.

‘I don’t know, but he had blue/grey hair,’ explains the 2 damsels.

‘Bloody Machine, he’s gone on and not called again!’

But the joke was on Machine because he had actually gone the wrong way.

And now...it’s definitely time.....for...the ...Mystery Mystery Whip~  

Stiff

·       Cheeks Out not once but twice continued to call ‘On On’ at the T Checks down towards Bukit Timah Rd. and 2 times other runners fell for it. Seems like she was really taking the piss out of us. This became even more obvious later on when Stiff spotted her in the bushes, and instead of calling ‘On’ she was calling ‘Don’t come in.’ Of course curiosity got the better of Stiff, or perhaps he thought this was another of Cheeks Out’s jokes. So into the bush he went, only to discover that she really was taking the piss out of him and he immediately discovered how Cheeks Out got her name. ‘She ought to be ………’

·       At the risk of being left to sleep on the couch, Stiff releases classified information on his wife, which is always fraught with danger. It seems that his Goody 2 Shoes wife took her new running shoes to the nearest mud and shiggy and made them look slightly old so as to avoid a charge. Nice try Fiona, but we have spies watching you know.

·       It seems that my little taxi tactic at the beginning of the run didn’t go unnoticed, so a little drinky winky is in order.

·       Stiffy and Stiffler are bought in for what could be a very stiff drink. Seems there was a bit of overtaking done involving these 3 fellows, Stiffler did a bit of gloating as he went past Stiffy, followed by Stiff, who received a comment along the lines of ‘Not bad for an old man!’ Not sure if that was complimentary or not!

·        Milestones ~  

The Prick~ Saliva declares that she has a prick, which either means she had a sex change while she was away on holidays or she is talking about Aye Aye again. ‘I want to give this to someone who really is a prick,’ she declares, which narrows the field down to about 75 members who are present. “I would love a black one!’ declares Hot Lips. Asse Licker and Astronut, obviously 2 of the bigger pricks at the Circle (is that complimentary??) are given a dishonourable mention. But Saliva tells of an erotic Norwegian driving at 120 kms down the freeway, all over the road, swerving from lane to lane, weaving in and out of traffic.…. Oh, I see, she said erratic Norwegian. Anyway, what a danger Stefan posed for all road users. But not as big a danger as he posed for the woman that was sitting on his lap while he was driving! Give the erotic erratic driver a note. Bet the knob on his gear stick was well polished. Just what was he driving the fastest?

A.O.B. Any Other Business ~

Rusty Tit’s shirt looks like it hasn’t been washed for a long time, maybe he should be called Crusty Tit.

On On On On!  And wasn’t there some fine singing at the Red Lantern that night.

Scribed by Cock Radio

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