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Run 1409 |
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Date : 19th June 2009 |
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Hares : Comes Quietly |
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Run-Site: Chestnut Ave
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On On: Red Lantern
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Numbers: Members: 44 Returnees: 0 Visitors: 6 Virgins: 1 Total 51 |
The Run by our Mystery Run Reporter: Circle Jerk
A decent enough crowd turned up for Comes Quietly’s run. You can always expect a Runner’s Run with Comes Quietly. Luckily there was also an “Official Shortcut” for those that wanted to take in the scenery but did want to get too hot and bothered with the running bit.
The Pack threw in its own voluntary T-check by first heading up the hill before realizing no one was on Paper! With an about face, the Pack then loped off into the jungle.
It soon became clear that while the general order of the day is “Run, Drink, Eat”, for some Runners, the order got reversed and soon they were diving off the trail and grabbing sticks to swipe and swing at rambutans and durians (Francis and Amy). Soon the air was thick with the smell of sweat and exhaled Durian! Some non-FRBs suddenly found the wherewithal to become FRBs!
It is rare that Hashers take an interest in Entomology but Tiger Lilly and Circle Jerk were overheard debating as to whether it was an ant’s nest hanging in the tree or a bee’s nest hanging in the tree. Despite several rounds of “it is an ant’s nest”, “no, it is a bee’s nest”, neither of them had the courage to poke their nose in and get a definitive answer.
Can Not Can, demonstrated the remarkable powers of the liver to regenerate itself. Last Saturday, on the Quad Run, Can Not Can was observed to have a hot coffee whisky totty followed by a G&T. And that was just his warm up routine before the Run!
The Run proved to be well laid with little opportunity to get lost, or generally hang around and pretend that there are already enough hashers checking out the trails. Although there was one opportunity for Wet Patch, Handbag and Aye Aye to brush up their various Northern English/Scottish linguistic skills.
As the pack skirted the jungle path around the reservoir, Croc of Sh*t put on a excellent rendition of “Panda Dances With Antelope” as he hopped over gnarled roots in hot pursuit of the thundering herd, lost his footing, but made an elegant/non-elegant (delete as necessary) recovery.
With a final loop, and aching knees, the pack put in a final push along the highway before arriving back at the Beer Van. It probably should not seem better than sex, but that first gulp of 100+ after such a run, always feels damn good.
The Circle by Half Cut
Circle began at 7.46pm.
What did we think of the Run? Votes came in with exclamations of ‘full of short cuts’ ‘the best run I have ever done’ and ‘quite a good run’. As usual, great run.
Tell us about your On On? $12 per person at one of our favorite haunts.
Next Week’s Run: Too Easy and Dim Sum, Woodleigh Park
Virgins: Kim
Visitors: Boom Arse Licker, Anne, Sam, Dog Mount, Phone Sex, Dipso Dick and Krit
Returnees: None
New Members: None
Do we have a Hare Whip? Comes Quietly
Topless was brought into the circle because while Comes Quietly was setting the run that afternoon, and running late at that, Topless phoned him to talk about the white wine situation for the circle. He tried to explain that he was actually in the middle of the jungle, running late to set the run and would prefer not to speak about it now but she would not take the hint and proceeded to expand on the conversation.
Wet n Wild and Stiffy came into the circle as they had followed Comes Quietly off the beaten track, not following trail, while he was attempting to relieve himself privately.
Mystery Whip: Bagless 2
Bagless 2 called Ripper and Stash into the circle. Apparently, Bagless was unfortunate enough to be running in close proximity with these two who, all the way around, were discussing the number of runs they had done and they sounded like a couple of old women discussing something much more important than the number of runs in the 140 days to date this year.
Shoe Shopper, Wet Patch, Tia Maria, No Good and Aye Aye were called in for creating a bottle neck during the run of linguists congregating on a corner discussing the next path to take to finish the run.
The Prick: Tia Maria has it and wants to keep it ‘for just one more week’.
Mystery Mystery Whip: Astronut
Stiff was charged by Astronaut for three reasons – although I missed one so you are only going to read two) - one was for taking advantage of Stiffler and not looking out for his son and for saying obviously too loudly that ‘there is a Fat Crushing bore coming out of the bush behind you’.
Chicken Shit and Strapless were then called in as Chicken Shit was overhead saying ‘I don’t want to do it with my hands but I will do it with my mouth’. What was she talking about?
What was Strapless hoping she was talking about?
Kan Not Kan was called in. During the run he ran past Tarnished Image and called out in a teasing manner, ‘You will never catch me but one of these days I just might let you’ Obvious to see Kan the Kobra is not here tonight
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GM Business:
Quickie, Topless and Half Cut were called in by Jack Off for not wearing their matching committee tartan skirt. Jack Off had hers on, of course
A.O.B. Any Other Business:
Stiffy charged Bagless 2 and Coo Chi Coo for leaving a party of fellow hashers in the lurch at a Quiz Night when they were well on their way to be winners for the night, by going home early. The eventual result was that they did win the Quiz Night anyway and, who knows, they may have done the fellow hashers a favor.
Wet Patch called Bagless 2 into the circle and queried his qualification as an adder of numbers by pointing out that in a previous charge he mentioned 140 days in the year to date when it is actually more like 170 days.
Cherry Picker called Chicken Shit, Strapless, Croc O’Shit and Peeking Ong and asked the audience to look at this picture. All were wearing the Quad Run T-Shirt of last weekend. ‘There is one mistake in the picture, who can find it?’ ‘One person was not at the Quad Run…. Peeking Ong’
Aye Aye called in Stiffy to charge him for boasting, see a previous charge, about winning at the Quiz Night after Coo Chi Coo and Bagless 2 had gone home.
Jack Off came into the circle seeking assistance with setting four more runs for the year.
Circle ended at 8.16 pm
Half Cuts Plagiarism:
www.theadvocate.com.au Anthony Haneveer 20/06/2009
A would-be drug trafficker seeking an ecstasy haul was left red-faced by the Melbourne underworld – paying thousands of dollars for blue M&M’s. Dwayne Grant Seabourne, 21, of Devonport, Tasmania, Australia, admitted to police in an airport car park in November last year that he had just flown back into the state with 400 ecstasy pills.
But he was in for a rude shock when the package he had concealed down his pants was opened, the Burnie Supreme Court heard Crown Prosecutor Jackie Hartnett revealed the luckless Seabourne had imported hundreds of blue M&M’s.
And his reaction in a recorded police interview showed he was rather angry, Ms Hartnett said, after forking out $6000 for nothing more stimulating than chocolate.
‘He felt someone had essentially ripped him off, ‘ she said.
Even Seabourne, a past champion darts player, could not hide a momentary smirk when it was explained in court that he had been duped.
While buying confectionary is not illegal, Seabourne’s admission to police left him facing several charges. Appearing before Justice Shan Tennent, he pleaded guilty to attempting to traffic in a controlled substance, along with other minor drug use charges.
Ms Hartnett told the court Seabourne had traveled to Melbourne from Launceston on November 26 last year, intending to buy MDMA, otherwise known as ecstasy.
‘He returned to Launceston with what he believed were ecstasy tablets,’ she said.
‘He purchased 400 tablets for $15 each intending to sell them for $30 each.’.
She submitted to Justice Tennent that Seabourne should be sentenced on the ‘basis of the evil intended, not on the basis of the evil that could have been accomplished’.
Defence Counsel Katie Edwards said the harm that could have come from the ‘particularly unsophisticated attempt’ to deal drugs was nil.
Justice Tennent adjourned sentencing Seabourne to 4.15pm on Wednesday.
Hash Confucius: None
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