Milestones: None

• Sneaky Cumer’s charges were all to do with mismatched expectations. 

• The first one was by Double Back who had been spied, prior to the run, taking the labels off obviously new shoes.  She was apparently under the misapprehension that as she was running in Pasir Ris it would be shiggy-free and her new shoes would be as clean at the end of the run as they were at the beginning.  Wrong !  Wrong !  Wrong !  .

• The second mismatched expectation was by Astronut who misread the way to go and ended up back at home less than 25 minutes after he had taken off. 

• The third mismatched down down was for Jack Off who had expressed her concerns earlier in the week to Sneaky Cumer that as Handbag was setting a run in the same area, at around the same time, it might be advantageous to watch out for his chalk, or flour or paper, but as Handbag’s run is actually with Lion City next week unless Handbag set his run a week early this would not prove to be a problem.. 

• Astronut and Cock Radio were called into the circle.  This is Tia Maria’s first foray into the challenge of being a Mystery Whip and the reason for that is that although Astronut did ask her when he was GM she refused because, as she said, he did not ask her with the ‘nice manners’ that Cock Radio displayed when he asked her.  Down Down for Cock Radio and Astronut.

• Tia Maria brought up an incident that happened at another run but one that has obviously been bothering her.  During this particular run front runners were off looking for the trail when something happened in front.  She rounded the corner and found Goody Bag and Cock Radio in a compromising position.  At this point in the story Cock Radio tried to explain and asked Goody Bag to demonstrate. When she exclaimed that she needed something to hold onto a dozen men came rushing into the circle.  Cock Radio shooed them away and offered to assist. On seeing the demonstration I am surprised Tia Maria was able to keep this incident to herself for so long.

• Asked the question of Coo Chi Coo. Called him too.

• Bagless called our ace short cutter, Boo, into the circle to share a classic hash moment.  Boo found himself on the wrong side of the canal and in attempting to cross went up to his neck in grass - much to the amusement of the runners who stopped just to see the outcome.  But, that wasn’t the end of it there was someone who followed Boo to the wrong side of the canal (although he did say he just happened to be going the same way). Comes Quietly was invited into the circle for a down down.

• Dog Shit and Delegator were called into the circle for a down down.  They planned, months ago, a trip to Hong Kong to see Liverpool play. They felt well organized and quite pleased with themselves as to how well they had planned it all.  That was until, as the plane is taking off, Dog Shit queried Delegator ‘you do have the tickets for the game don’t you’?  You guessed it !!

• Shut the Fuck Up was given a down down for graciously stepping in as GMs

• Ayam Zinking birthday was celebrated with a down down.  Happy Birthday.

• Cock Radio called Tia Maria in for a farewell down down as she really is off to Manchester to charm the Brits. Cock Radio asked the crowd to sing her a really nice farewell song and and they obliged with ‘F**k off ….’ 

• Wet n’Wild and Sneaky Cumer were called back into the circle to celebrate their anniversary with a down down and an anniversary kiss or two or three was forthcoming.  They had to be kicked out of the circle before things got out of hand. 

• Cock Radio called look-alike Bagless to Bagless Too (see last week’s newsletter concerning Orchard Towers).  Bagless Too did some quick thinking during the week and reasoned that the group were in Orchard Towers as drinks are cheaper.  As Bagless Too was not at the run all Scotsmen were called in including Shut the F**k Up who met some resistance to her being in the circle. She stood her ground and had a drink with the guys. 

• Tiger Lily brought Half Cut in for a down down.  I missed the charge but think it was not bringing something to the hash.

• Kan Not Kan called Eleven, Slocum, Cunt Dracula and Coo Chi Coo in – he gave us the opportunity to hand one of these hashers an award for sartorial elegance.  In his mind the vote goes to Eleven as she has provided us with an excellent marketing idea.  We could have trousers made for the haberdash that include a small pouch at the back to carry our water bottles.  He has obviously been paying far too much attention to Eleven’s backside.  Coo Chi Coo enquired as to the meaning of sartorial elegance and on being told was put out that he didn’t receive the award

• Jack Off charged Slocum for forgetting who she was.  I missed the award but am sure well deserved..

• Sneaky Cumer called Eleven in to find out where Circle Jerk was and on being told that he was home finalizing the books for Lion City, went on to inform the circle of past difficulties with the accounts.  When Wet Patch passed over the books there was $15.65 missing that took many months to find.  Sneaky Cumer left $15.65 outstanding and Astronut left $3.20 never to be found.  As Saliva has not turned up tonight we understand she also is home fretting over the accounts.   

• Slocum called Double Back and No Good in for chatting

• Shoe Shopper called DIY in.  You will recall that last week Shoe Shopper was wearing sunglasses throughout the run and into the night because of a problem with her eyes.  This problem cleared through the week and she is now fine.  Shoe Shopper was impressed with DIY’s thoughtfulness until he went on ‘your eyes still look pretty f**ked’. Down down for sure.

• Mother Mary called Hooray in because he watched Eleven and a visitor going off on the run in the wrong direction and did nothing to save them from themselves.  It was left to Fat Crushing Bastard to rescue Eleven.

• DIY called in Strapless who was heard complaining that he had driven ‘all the way from Jurong to the East Coast’.

• Coo Chi Coo called Fat Crushing Bastard in for not looking after Too Easy.  As Too Easy was going to be late Fat Crushing Bastard told her that he would mark all the checks.  According to Coo Chi Coo he felt obliged to do it as Fat Crushing Bastard did not.  Some doubt as to the validity of this charge but we took it on face value.

• Cock Radio called Shoe Shopper and Penile Extension in as examples of the powers that newly named St Francis wields (see last week’s newsletter).  Now, the question is who else can he help.  What would we like him to do for, say, Boo for example?  No suggestion could be agreed for Boo although the most ingenious suggestion I heard was to give him a GPS.

• DIY brought Tia Maria in for determining that, coming to a t-check meant definitely going forward even if it meant climbing over a 5 meter wire fence or walking 1 meter either way around the fence.  The last down down for Tia Maria until next time.