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Run 1421 |
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Date: 11th September 2009 |
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Hares: Too Good & Cunt Dracula, Smell Me |
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Run-Site: Corner of Tagore Lane and Tagore Drive
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On On: Ah Ohe Restaurant at Sing Ming Road
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Numbers: Members: 52 Returnees: 7 Visitors: 7 (incl. 2 virgins) Total 66 |
The Run by our Mystery Run Reporter: Phallic Persuasion (AKA PENILE EXTENSIONE)
Firstly Yours truly went to the wrong site/road, Tagore Road i.e. the run site of the Harriet’s 2 days prior having blindly believed the word of one of the attendees which goes to prove unequivocally, NEVER TRUST THE WORD OF A FELLOW HASHER ………………WHEN IT COMES TO DIRECTIONS TO A RUN SITE.
Having been patiently or was it stalked by HALF CUT for over 4 weeks I just HAD to turn up so it was just as well that DIY came to my rescue and picked me up in his taxi. Thanks mate but I am afraid I am going to STIFFY you in this report with something you .said later or tried to say!
Ok so we started off in the corner of Tagore Drive, duly on time (by the previously 25,000 occupied 25,000 BANGLA (GIRL) Worker Hostel/ Spa/Warehouse) past BOOS car which we all thought inadvertently broken down (again)…..he had a very erect bonnet. QUICKIE is BOO always that way so inclined? (more on the REAL reason for BOOS STIFF bonnet in the Circle report I don’t doubt).
Any way we proceeded over a drain with a very small plank (we all checked to see where CROC O SHIT was, (did any one see him cross) because it was small and not looking like it could hold LCH’s Top Pie Eater. So, safe then, we were up and over to the right along a gravelly trail… It was quite a long way, but already there were the usual doubting Thomas’s running off to the left and some (ASTRONUT ) wanting to make his usual own way through the jungle on the left side despite clear trail indicating follow the trail …. I recall next following some of the FRB‘s on through whence we came to a section where STIFF and BOO (quell surprise) had come from the other way and looking very confused then lo and behold, with her Testerone? levels literally racing ahead CHEEKS OUT (welcome back some of us really miss being bulldozed aside ) runs on back from where STIFF & BOO had come, screaming she was on…
A few mortals followed, me knackered after just 10 mins, ask GRIPPER he uttered a few Australian monosyllabics which flew over this Cuckoos nest, followed the then growing (PUSSY)POSSEE (LIFTER) who totally disregarded CHEEKS OUT imploring or was it her distinctive calling/screaming that she was ON .Alas the FRB’s did ignore this and so we were then running parallel the other way which eventually was parallel with the SLE ….. At this point on the run I heard DIY break out into his O Level French giving his best “Voulez vous se coucher avec moi c’est soir?”with I think, MAIS OUI BANG and ?…or were you discussing the price or vegetables as do the FRB’s.
At this point the trail then took us to Upper Thomson Road road junction under the SLE, before crossing over and on left back up Upper Thomson Road
A circle check was found by yours Penile and guest and then on checking back, then heard on on were leaving behind the writer who now became a fully paid up member of the back markers…This is where a cunning stunt was required so using “I m a local, follow me” STRAPLESS mantra (he’s in Germany currently ,so I wonder if that works there?) proceeded along Old Upper Thomson Road which to my total holy MOTHER MARY surprise, could find none of the back marker set, you know, BULLY,NOT TONIGHT,AYAM KAMPONG, SLOCUM, TIGER LILY, WET PATCH ,SHAGGY DICK 2 ,the usual crowd.
Hence a 1000 metre sprint to the entrance of the Upper Pierce Reservoir whereupon found (the) running MACHINE (s) of COOCHI COO, BIG HEAD, a few others into “Bramble City”. A trail run on a few occasions but nevertheless, a challenging, awkward and full of STIFF ,STIFFLER, STIFFY prickles, DOGSHIT,SHIGGY PIGGY,& CHICKEN SHIT, no place for a POSER,WHINGER,SHOE SHOPPER, PHONEY DICK ,definitely TOO GOOD for a CUNT DRACULA ,not one for a SLACK ARSE or anyone KNICKERLESS or BLOOD (on his) SHIT or intending to CHERRY PICKER. Other wise best to DOUBLE BACK, COME QUIETLY, JACK OFF, eat some DIM SUM, do the IMPOSSIBLE and take home a GOODY BAG!
If anyone’s reference was missed out blow your TRUMPET, shout AYE AYE and the LONG SUFFERING COCK RADIO will LICK IT OFF or show off his TWIN TOWERS so that we WONTON forget STASH. Failing that take off your GSTRING and MALFUNCTION in the CIRCLE JERK afterwards but not beyond ELEVEN or behold KAN will not KAN set Her COBRA on you.
And finally, the trail took us through the great area sandwiched between Old and Upper Thomson road through the old WET & WILD kampong area, an area perfect for a FRONTSEAT WANKER or A BACK SEAT BONKER. Alas this COCK EYE saw no INDECENT EXPOSURE …Ok this is now AD NAUSEAM so on home across to Tagore Road through the estate to Tagore Drive to complete a run that mixed it well. Last in around 7.30 pm.
Well done Hares
The Circle by Half Cut
Circle began at 08.04 pm.
What did we think of the Run ‘Good run for a Belgium’ was the consensus. Although there were three hares it was said that one of the hares’ contribution was nothing more than sticking a dead leaf on her leg to give the impression of being one of the three (if this was an exaggeration I apologize for bringing it up).
Tell us about your On On: Ah Ohe Restaurant at Sing Ming Road, 12 S$ per person.
Note: As the restaurant was Boo’s recommendation and the hares were aware newcomers may follow him, they took the precaution of providing maps for those unaware of the risks involved with following Boo
Next Week’s Run: Legoless & Halfcut, Lorong Sesuai, Red Lantern
Virgins: Steve and Pam Snow
Returnees: Sarah, Vibrator, Pussy Lifter, Shoeless, Juice Extractor, Kelly, Sharon and Malfunktion
Visitors: Plunger, Baby Sitter, Don and Marie
New Members: None
Do we have a Hare Whip? Cunt Dracula
Cunt Dracula called in Wet Patch, Coo Chi Coo, Stiffy, Handbag, Too Good and Peggy aka Smell Me to get us to take a good look at their legs and separate the men from the boys, the hashers from the walkers. Down downs for good looking legs that have seen a bush or two.
Milestones: Congratulations to both hashers
Circle Jerk was called in to accept his t-shirt for 100 runs. He very kindly donated the remainder of his award animal welfare.
Congratulations to Juice Extractor who received her t-shirt for 50 runs .
Mystery Whip: Too Good
Too Good called Boo in for what, I am not sure, but it had something to do with him not wanting to pay for something – apologies to you Too Good – I missed that one.
Mystery Mystery Whip: Bully
Bully called in Astronut, Gypsy, Mother Mary, Jack Off, Slocum and Blood Shit and his guests for taking them on a short – short - short cut. ‘The old leading the old’ said Gypsy.
Down down for Bagless for his attempt at being a front running bastard.
Little John and Big Head were called in to give us a demonstration of their demonstrative ways. When Bully saw them walking in front of him he naturally presumed it was Cheeks Out and it did go thru his mind how nice it was to see a married couple being so loving. However, upon getting closer he realized it wasn’t Cheeks Out but Big Head who Little John was patting on the bottom. Cheeks Out was called in the circle so she could share in the bottom patting.
The Prick: MIA
A.O.B.
Coo Chi Coo called Peggy in and although I missed the charge there was a hell of a lot of kissing going on in the circle.
Jack Off was called in as she had become separated from her patch. Wet Patch was then called in to compensate and it was even declared a cardinal patch but no compensation was made.
Not Tonight called Handbag and Prof Malfunktion in to explain the results of a Harvard University’s Sleep Habits study. Án enormous amount of money was spent on this research and at its end it was concluded that ‘if you sleep with someone you don’t get as much sleep’. This result brought sniggers and retorts of ‘throw out your partner’ and ‘do away with women’. All three received a down down.
Handbag could not resist coming into the circle to tell us ‘wives complain about snoring’ ‘girlfriends never do’. Recent experience Handbag ???
Pussy Lifter called Machine and Big Head in declaring one to be a culprit and one to be a victim. As it turns out, Machine had very kindly offered to share his shower facilities with Big Head. At the appropriate time she walked back to his car and began to get undressed. Meantime, Machine finished his beer, came back to his car, and drove off leaving Big Head high and dry fully exposed to the elements and in near nudity. Pussy Lifter, being the gentleman he is, came to her rescue.
GM Business:
Boo came into the circle as GM to take up the slack from Cock Radio who was absent from the run. He was promptly charged by Hooray for not being at the run (do you get that?).
The substitute GM received a down down for not knowing who his Hares were when it came to calling them into the circle.
Bully and the visitor Babysitter were called into the circle for having far too good a time telling jokes while the circle was going on.
Malfunktion, Suzie Wong and In & Out very kindly volunteered to take over organization of the D&D. As this looked like being a non-event these three taking over is very much appreciated by one and all
Naming: Peggy received the name of Smell Me after other suggestions – some good, some not so good. As one of the hares Peggy, on her return to the run site, enquired from Cunt Dracula as to her appearance. On receiving an affirmative she then got real close to him and enquired as to how she smelt. From all accounts he took a good sniff and declared, under some pressure (remembering she had been a hare) , an affirmative for that too.
Circle closed at 08.47 pm.
Half Cuts Plagiarism: Hooray for Fat !!!!!!
Straits Times Sept ‘09
Thin Thighs May Spell Higher Heart Disease Risk – Washington: People who have long agonized over their fat thighs might be able to relax a bit – a new study has found that the thinner your thighs, the greater your risk of heart disease.
Women and men with thighs under 60cm in circumference face a far higher risk of premature death and heart disease, according to a study released. The surprising find could provide doctors with an additional barometer of cardiac risk, the authors say in the British Medical Journal. and ,
Fat ‘Yields’ Stem Cells – Washington: Fat sucked out of chunky thighs or flabby bellies during liposuction may be an easy source of stem cells, US researchers say. The fat cells are easier to work with than the skin cells usually used to make IPS cells, the team at Stanford University’s School of Medicine in California reported in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on Tuesday.
On On On On!
Scribed by Half Cut
Confucius
Says Phil-osophy:
Some days you are the
bug; some days you are the wind screen.
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