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Run 1433 Bully's 70th and Stiffy’s 60th |
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Date: 4th December 2009 |
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Hares: Bully, Stiffy, Big Head, Bullit |
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Run-Site: Tulip Garden |
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On On: On Site Christmas Turkey |
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Numbers: Members: 66 Returnees: 2 Visitors: 15 (incl. 2 virgins) Total 83 |
The Run by our Mystery Run Reporter: Recipricunt and Pinball Wizard
Cheeks Out asked Roger and I if we would be willing to do a husband/wife report on this week’s hash – perhaps a tale of two parts – one from the front of the pack and one from the back??? Well, that is pretty much how it finished up ......I will let Roger continue the story here .....
Well there was a good turn out for what should hence forth be known as the “Old Farts Run” being that the run was celebrating the birthdays of Bully 70, and Stiffy 60. The Old farts were ably supported with the hare line being made up of some younger blood to do the running about, pun intended, it transpired however that Big Head had managed to sprain her ankle, no reasons being given, that in the end Stiffy had to dig deep and set a greater part of the trail.
Setting off from Tulip Gardens alongside Farrer Road and the drainage ditch we encountered the first T-check, and an about turn over the footbridge to the other side of Farrer Road, across Holland Road heading towards the city and another T-check had the pack milling around until the paper trail was found alongside another drainage channel and this brought us into the carpark near Dempsey Road, past Oosh, with disco music blaring (obviously practising for a much later session) and then past Red Dot brewery, crossing a field and a dodgy plank over a drain to Da Paulo’s (do you remember the plank over the drain Mr Potato Head? now newly acquainted with the laws of physics) The trail crossed the road past White Rabbit into a wide open “meadow” area. This provided a good opportunity for the pack to regroup before the trail was found again and headed off towards Singapore Cricket Club’s Dempsey Road field. After crossing the boggy field we emerged onto the open area before fighting through the bushes into Peel Road and a nasty little T check. After some milling around, the pack found the trail again, headed up a hill to be met with another T-check. At this point I must confess (Pinball Wizard speaking) I felt a bit cheesed off as I had pressed onwards and upwards running, ever so slowly to the top of the hill to encounter the pack running back down, that was apart from Coo Chi Coo who decided to shimmy down the banking, through a hedge, only to emerge later claiming he was on trail and following the paper, what a storey!! Across another field onto the side of Queensway near to a footbridge, the arrows pointed up and over the bridge however Boo and a pack of short cutters set off up Queensway heading home. The front runners and the remainder of the pack crossed the footbridge and headed off into the HDB area, across carparks, under HDB’s, followed paths, up ramps, down steps, up steps, every combination you could think of to emerge opposite Cold Storage in Holland Village. Following the trail round Chip Bee Gardens, the route wound its inevitable way back home to Tulip Gardens and the “Old Farts” bright yellow tee shirts, so they can’t be missed when looking for something to wear for the next hash.
A good run - excellent according to Pinball Wizard.
Hash report ably miss-managed by Recipricunt and Pinball Wizard.
The Circle by: Cheeks Out
Circle started at about 8pm. CR called “gather round” but forgot to add “Boo stand there and be quiet”. Boo stationed himself next to the scribe and the resulting background noise drowned out some of the charges so if your cleverly fashioned charge is not reported BLAME BOO – nothing new so far!
What did we think of the Run: The hares were called in: Bully, Big Head, Stiffy and Bullet (sorry was that Bullet or Bullock? A small bull anyway) verdict was Good run from old farts …. Sorry Big Head and Bullet – I think that was a case of “guilty by association”
Tell us about your On On: Bully brings in Molly to tell us about the On On and again Molly has surpassed herself! A fantastic spread is promised (hey why do you think so many turn up for this wonderful yearly event?) Boo yelling: “and it’s free” so I did not hear what was really said but I believe Boo got it right. Thanks for a lovely dinner and evening – great food Molly and our thanks to all your lady helpers.
Next Week’s Run: Corbet family: Pinball Wizard and Reciprocunt at Jalan Lam Sam.
Virgins: 2 virgins – Dave and Christine. Well Dave was still around for his down down but Christine has been lost – she was last seen with Mr Potato Head so “What did you do with her?” poor Cock Radio was heart broken.
Visitors: Foreplay, Philip, Welsh Git, Wet Pet, Jurassic Dick, Steve, Sex Change and Confused. – Glad you could join us to celebrate the old farts revelry
New Members: None
Do we have a Hare Whip? Bully enters the circle and calls on Stash – Stash is not around so we will get to him later.
NEVER BEFORE has Bully had to FIRE a co-hare but this particular hare was Too Confident, Too Comfortable and Too Loud (maybe the last was the real problem?) and can you believe he went to the Ministry of Hashing and Hare Employment affairs for his “severance pay” So on in Stash and drink it down down down down.
Calling in all other hares in succession: one was a whimp and afraid of spiders and other beasts in the greenery, one had a twisted ankle excuse and the last one having set the run exclaimed “I think I will run that again” In Bully’s eyes all whimps of some sort!
Mystery Whip: Bagless I
First charge Shut The F*#ck Up is being charged again, Last week when someone commented that the second half was much slower than the first half and this was because the T-check back checks were rather long …”Shut The F*#ck Up, why was that?” she answered “Ad Nauseum told me to”! Give the compliant one a note.
DIY the other half of our super heroes was going up for a ball breaker in Vietnam? But got pissed and only went to Changi and back home to the couch and vegetated in front of the TV give this wimp a note.
Last charge is about Sexual Harassment on the hash (hey how come I have missed out on that?!) G String and Dogmount had been strolling and chatting together in Japanese most of the run and Crock of Shit felt a little over-looked (hmmm he is not easy to overlook these days) and at the same time was concerned they were talking about his pseudo Sumo appearance - so he called out as he passed “how do you girls say BOY HE’S GOT A CUTE ARSE in Japanese?”
Mystery Mystery Whip: Boo?? Really? Yep – well at least that reduced the noise level – at least in my immediate vicinity!
Bully and Big Head in the circle for being “spoil sports” and running out of T-shirts – Why did you not give a T-shirt to Twin Towers so Boo could “FEEL THE DIFFERENCE”
Philip was about half way through the run when he came upon Boo saying “so you are Boo? So I am not supposed to follow you?” Boo said “how do you know?” he replied “I read the newsletter!” (people READ the news?! letter OMG I never counted on that) Philip decided to follow Boo in spite of rumors and soon they found chalk, then came Astronut and Boo said “follow him and you will be good” but apparently he was led astray – so maybe it should be “don’t follow Astronut”!
The third charge was something about people short-cutting – in were called Shiggy Piggy, STFU, Hand Bag too, the virgin Dave – heck I think he even called in the scribe but it gets a little unclear in my notes here? And then we were all charged with short cutting – hmm was that something about pots and kettles and calling each other black?
Happy birthday to – not just the old farts making up 130 between them but a young thing turning 20 something today: Quickie come on in.
Mystery Mystery Whip (I hear you thinking: “didn’t we just have that?” well yes but with GM enjoying the beginning of Alzheimer’s we will occasionally have no MW’s and often two or more!
Aye Aye was approached about the job a week ago and agreed so off we go with yet another script. [Aye Aye promises every time to send his script to the scribe but never does – still waiting for the Saint Andrews day “War and Peace” my dear.]
First in is Malfunction – seen at the start of the run wearing specs, when comment was passed “I didn’t know you wore specs” Malfunction replied with wonder “I found out I can see better when I wear them” .
Second in is Hand Bag for doing a special strip dance – I think it was called “oh my god the hornets are stinging”.
Last charge was well prepared about the birth years of the two old birthday hashers – lots of good stuff there but without the script – only a few things are remembered: The year Stiffy was born UK still had rationing, South Pacific opened on Broadway, the first Porsche went on the roads, an average house cost 1911 pounds, and the Germans tried to sell Volkswagens to the US - they bought two? Finishing with some advice about being nice to kids – they will pay for you in your old age? For Bully back in his birth year the French were still executing people with the guillotine, an average house cost 590 pounds, Tina Turner was born (she had got better legs than Bully) Gone with the Wind and Judy Garland singing “somewhere over the rainbow……” – finally between them they have managed 50 year of hashing – Stiffy 13 and Bully the rest – “why were they born so …”
Milestones: None Tonight
The Prick:
Going on tour! Kathy really wants to bring it to Shanghai with her but she is worried her mum will steal it so maybe someone else can bring it for her next week?
AOB I have another three pages of notes so we will now reduce the script:
Some-one talking about “reading” female signals legs APART leg CROSSED ? you would think it was clear and yet when Sharon Stone crossed her legs Dustin Hoffman got the wrong (or right) end of the stick and were sure they were ON! On in Batu “she’s alright..” or was it on in academic titilators??
Something about Tiger Woods – sorry it was too fast (just like my golf swing) – I think you needed to be into the gossip columns to get this one.
DIY coming with a politically correct charge. First we bring in a Chinaman Peeking Ong for getting injured with a super Spiderman long jump – some of us were wondering if he was just engineering the excuse not to run for the next four weeks. But having charged a Chinaman we now need to bring in an Ang Moh: Stiff and Stiffler for being too competitive with young Stiffler feeling victorious tonight as pops is preparing for Sunday’s half marathon – in fact he felt so exuberant that he did something quite “un-English” clearly feeling quite the man – quite Latino - by now I thought “I missed a strip show out there or a fandango”- but no it was only taking a piss in full public view! Clearly the Latino’s aren’t quite what they used to be.
Bully and Stiffy are awarded tickets for the comedy club on behalf of IDLE BANTER delivered by Penile Extension – have a good night fella’s
Stash comes in with an article and something about vegemite and cream cheese combination “shudder at the thought” -… and then? Sorry Stash lost the article but people laughed J
GM Business:
Cock Radio wants to see a Singaporean in the circle – wait there aren’t any? Why would that be? They are all queued up for the food already – surely not our GM Jack Off … Where is she? At the FRONT of the queue! Give the hungry one a note!
Circle closed way before 9.00pm
Cheeks Out
On On On On!
Scribed by Cheeks Out
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