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Run 1435 |
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Date: 18th December 2009 |
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Hares: Shoe Shopper & Wet Patch |
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Run-Site: Yeo Building, Telok Blangah St 31 |
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On On: Gillman's Seafood |
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Numbers: Members: 54 Returnees: 2 Visitors: 11 (incl. 3 virgins) Total 67 |
The Run by our Mystery Run Reporter: Not Tonight and Stiffy (Cherry Picker typing from Not Tonight’s hand written undecipherable notes)
My (Not Tonight) approach to write this run report (as I did not run) was to interview a German, Japanese, Front Runner, experienced Hasher, Walker and Sitter. Finally I added a slogan as a run scribe.
Machine, The German: “Up the fucking hill, down again.”
G String and friend, The Japanese: Don’t remember anything apart from slippery x 3
Tiger Lilly, The Front Runner (who was following the hare, Shoe Shopper): Good run, quite impressive. Shoe Shopper set it by herself without getting lost in the jungle. Quite an achievement for a blonde. Shoe Shopper got scary paw marks on her arm, where Tiger (Lilly) attached her as she was leading the pack. So that is why Tiger Lilly did not get lost until the last minute when she took her eyes off the hare.
Boo, The experienced Hasher: “This is the hash. Done very nice trail, farmh%$r trail but they cut bushes to get in (to the next trail). People came together, I think this is a good run. You must expect it to be slippery.”
Wonton’s view from the back: “We keep walking, Mather Mary kept leading. Then when she wanted to stay on the road, I took a senior citizen, a tough one, to show them the way.”
Big Head & Not Tonight, The Sitter’s view of the run: “The beer guys (Croc Hunter) took great care of us, fed us treats, we met Gildas from Cameroon, we were dripped on by stinky people coming back from the run. Altogether the experience of drinking without running is rather pleasant.
New government slogan “Don’t Run to Drink”.
Not Tonight
The Circle by: as noted by Croc Hunter (alias Ah Huat) and reported by Saliva
Preamble: Not to be out-done by our GM who appointed 3 mystery whips twice in two consecutive weeks, our Assistant On-Sec appointed two Scribes for the circle report for Run # 1435. Unfortunately, she did not clarify the duties between the two appointed scribes, so there was a slugging match between the two scribes which, fortunately (or unfortunately?), ended with a truce being called - Croc Hunter would take notes of the circle events and Saliva would write up the report…
So if this circle report did not match your recollection of events, or if your names were spelt wrongly, it was because Saliva could barely decipher the hand scribbled pidgin English notes from this crew cut, pot bellied solid citizen called Croc Hunter, alias Ah Huat…, whom she was reliably informed, was a splitting image of her good self….
(Right, Aye Aye, it’s time we get a new mirror!)
Circle started at 19:55 – Croc Hunter was told to note this as the start time by the GM....and Croc Hunter always does what this Aussie requested of him …well …as much as he could make out of this Aussie’s incoherent rumblings…poor soul has yet to master pidgin English to be able to communicate properly with solid citizen Croc Hunter. Same same with that French sumo wrestler with that shit sounding name.
What did we think of the Run: Boo declared there were not enough hills, not enough obstacles, not enough “cheeks” for the macho lot…too easy. GM said we must not follow Boo….…so if that’s Boo’s views, then it had to be a good run. So good run it shall be!!
Tell us about your On On: Gillman Seafood Restaurant, only about 65 yards from run site, $120 per table, free bottles of beer, courtesy of the Hares. Definitely a good run then!
Next Week’s Run: Jack Off, Not To-night, Slocum and Stiffy, – Celebrate this Christmas run at Turf City. Come dressed in red Christmas outfit. On On will be at a restaurant called Pickerton (that’s what it sounded like) near Turf City. (Not sure if there is an attire code for Christmas, but no harm to put in some extra change of clothes befitting the occasion in your Hash bag. It is Christmas after all.)
Virgins: Jack Off called in Tomuko, Cameron, Gildars.
Visitors: A bunch of them – welcome and thanks to Hans, Harriet, Sex Change, Dribble, Last Minute, Confused, Blow John for running and drinking with us.
Returnees: Dimple and Rain Drops from Aberdeen, Scotland
New Members: None
GM’s Privileged: Cock Radio wanted to know who was missing a set of keys. No one came forward. He was visibly pleased because it meant he could keep the treasure of whatever the set of keys lead to. But someone had to spoil the prized find by asking him which car it was, so he was forced to trigger the un-lock button on the key and the blinking lights on the car came on for all to see. Alas, her secret exposed, Confused came into the circle to down the prescribed “poison” for not owning up to her sinful ways. But how did he get in...someone asked. “My husband did not lock it” ...came the reply. Well well....that’s a big mistake ...not locking the chastity belt!
Milestones: None
Do we have a Hare Whip?
Shoe Shopper
· She called in her co-Hare Wet Patch. He arrived on the run site at around half past six, half pissed. How dare he left Shoe Shopper to set the run all on her own because he wanted to attend the office X’mas Party! On hearing that, all the MCPs in the circle cheered now that one of their members managed to break free....even if it was only for a couple of hours.
Wet Patch
· This “young and strong” recent member came up to him to say it was a very good run, and thanked him for showing him the short cut. Down down for Croc O’Shit ...and who ate all the pies?
· When Wet Patch arrived on site, he noticed this incognito persona lying flat out having a rest. He was clean shaven, smartly dressed and sported a new hair-do. This person turned out to be Shaggy Dick Too, and he was going home to spend Christmas with his Mum. He had since left for the airport, so clean shaven Blood-shit with his classic work of art hair line was called in as a Shaggy Dick Too look-a-like.
Mystery Whip: Fat Crushing Bastard: charged these “old” folks for various misdemeanors...
· Slack Arse – for speeding past entrance to run site, jammed on his brakes and drove dangerously into the car park. For being a dangerous speedster…and fantasying himself as Mr. Magoo, down down for Slack Arse.
· Coo Chi Coo - giving a new twist to Bike Hash Go Green motto – Don’t leave anything behind, or you will have to get a new one. CCC interpreted that to mean that if he gave away his wife, he would get a better one in return. Now that did not go down well with No Good…so down down for CCC.
· Mr. Goby – this 21-year old prodigal son told his Dad, Reciprocunt that he can run faster than him on his bike.
Mystery Mystery Whip: Knickerless called in two hashers:
· Stiffener as Knickerless look-a-like for getting through an awful day dealing with a dirty phone call. It went something like this:
o The phone rang…Knickerless picked it up ….but it was silent at the other end. Then the heavy breathing began…gosh it sounded like someone being suffocated…
o Kickerless: Yes, is anybody there? More silence and more heavy breathing….then finally…..
o A husky male voice whispered: “are you knickerless?”
o Knickerless: Yes, I am
o A male voice: I am Cock Radio
o Knickerless: Oooh….and I am Virgin Blonde
Down down for Cock Radio and Knickerless look-a-like
· Dimple – Knickerless asked Dimple why Rain Drop shaved away his beard. Dimple said it was because he worked in an oil field and growing a beard would pose a fire hazard. So Knickerless asked why he did not shave his head as well. Dimple did not have an answer to that, so down down for Dimple.
AOB
Ripper – called in Croc O’shit for mounting the kerb to get out of the car park at Greasy Spoon because his GPS told him that was the way out !!
Mother Mary – called in Wanton for moaning all the way on the run because there were too many “hazards” to overcome.
Slack Arse – he noted that people do not attach any value to freebies, even when it was something as priceless as Penile Extension’s Idle Banter or a super duper Nokia phone. On in Fawlty Towers for discarding both freebies.
Crock Radio – he wagers that Santa Claus has to be a man because he:
· has no common sense
· hardly ever gives what you ask for
· does not reply to letters
· has a beer belly
· only commits to one day a year
· is obsessed with stockings
· does not stop to ask for directions
· wears the same clothes every year
· knows there is always booze and food left for him no matter how late
· only comes once a year
On in Wet Patch for being a Santa Claus.
Slocum – he sought direction from the hare and was told to follow Knickerless into the bush. Down down for Wet Patch and Knickerless for making his day. (Note: I was reliably informed he came out of the bushes looking satisfied and grinning from ear to ear!!)
Coo Chi Coo – called in Recipcrocunt and his look-a-like …his son. The good news is he is a now a handsome young lad, but the bad news is he will acquire a semi-desert patch on his head just like his Dad.
Croc O’shit –
Called in Croc Hunter for mistaking him for Cock Radio when the only thing they had in common was something sounding like cock?
Called in Peeking Ong for mistaking the Scribe to be Croc Hunter
Prick of the Week: TBA’s wife got the Prick at St. Andrew’s Day run for bemoaning that the Prick was too small….but we all know it was all bullshit because she kept it for a long long time and even brought it with her to China. Alas… it was with great reluctance that she had to let TBA gave away the Prick to Kan Not Can for suffering verbal diarrhea most of the time but was lost for words when it came to singing. So let’s see next week if the Prick will cure Kan Not Can of his verbal diarrhea.
Circle closed at 9 plus and everybody was called to go On On On……………………
Saliva
On On On On!
Scribed by: Croc Hunter look-a-like, Saliva
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