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Run 1437 |
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Date: 1st January 2010 11th Annual New Year Recovery Run |
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Hares: Astronut & Poser, Mystery Co-Hares: Twin Towers and Comes Quietly |
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Run-Site: Bukit Batok Nature Park |
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On On: Red Lantern |
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Numbers: Members: Returnees: Visitors: (incl. virgins) Total |
The Run by our Mystery Run Reporter: Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch
As anyone who has visited the Bryce’s abode knows, they haven’t had much luck in life and today was no exception. It had been a gloriously sun-shiny day until about 4 pm when it began to drizzle. By 5 pm the rain was heavy and the sky was dark; half an hour later the gods were seriously cross. The windscreen wipers were on all the way to the run site where our fellow die-hard hashers issued cheery “Happy New Years” despite being huddled under umbrellas and raincoats. It had diluted to a drizzle when Astronut announced at 6pm that co-hare Comes Quietly was out relaying the first part of the run and that he himself would relay the second part. No mention was made of the third part…
The freshly laid trail meandered up through Bukit Batok Park until we encountered a circle check in the car park. Surprisingly, trail was eventually found down Lorong Sesuai. Before we got to the bottom, the true hashers headed left into the shiggy for a hundred metres or so while the wimps continued their journey down the road. We reunited on Upper Bukit Timah Road. From there we ran right, then headed up the grassy bank parallel to Old Jurong Road, along the fence line, through a bit more jungle and then onto Jurong Kechil. We continued up the hill to the grasslands behind Jalan Kakatua and were ten minutes from home at the 30-minute mark when we were suddenly led into the depths of the jungle. Trail was sparse – evidently this was the third part of the run that none of the hares could muster the energy to relay!
It seemed to me that Astronut & Co had laid this section when still intoxicated from the previous night as we proceeded to follow a seemingly random, barely visible and highly improbable trail of soggy paper. It was wet, slippery, muddy, thorny and difficult to transverse and the arbitrary circle check in the one of the densest parts kept us all guessing for quite some time. Anyway, apparently within the madness there was method as we suddenly found ourselves spat out on Toh Tuck Road 20 minutes later. From there it was a quick sprint home along Bukit Batok St 25 with the FRB’s coming in around the 65-minute mark.
Thank you hares, for the 11th Annual Recovery Run. Well done!
Mystery Run Reporter Shoe Shopper
The Circle by: Wet Patch and Shoe Shopper
The Circle commenced 19.51 with Boo calling the assembled masses to order. There was a competition for being acting Grand Mattress and Indecent Exposure lost so she joined Boo in the circle. Thence, the hares, Astronut, Poser, Twin Towers and Comes Quietly were called into the circle.
What did we think of the Run: After the usual comments about being wet and lippery (or is that slippy?) we all agreed it was a good run and quite probably the best run this year. Give the hares a note….yes, you too Comes Quietly.
Tell us about your On On: Red Lantern. Good choice.
Next Week’s Run: not present and nobody seemed to care except Shoe Shopper.
Virgins: Two chaps with big muscles and little willies and one lady who was all right!
Visitors: Many were called and a few were recorded in between sips of beer – Mr. McGlue; Sonny; Jurassic Dick; Wet Brazilian; Martin; Emily; Fiona; Iris etc etc. Here’s to the visitors…
Returnees: Wee Willie; Phoney Linguist; Cunning Linguist. Why were they born so beautiful??
New Members: None
Milestones: None
Do we have a Hare Whip? Astronut
Astronut charged the acting GM Boo The Mad Chinaman plus his inevitable entourage Quicky and the ubiquitous Stiffy with short-cutting down Lorong Sesuai. Also, Strapless went AWOL at the fire station following the hare and thinking he was being even more clever than usual. Why were they ??.
Mystery Whip: Always a confusion here but eventually Strapless was drawn into the circle to share some of the members’ NY resolutions:
Peeking Ong is promising to run hard (bullshit). HooRay is going to stop shortcutting (no way) and Boo The Mad Chinaman is not going to complain about the proliferation of guilohs (ha ha ha). Why were they born at all?
Mystery Mystery Whip: Not Tonight tried to divulge from the hashers what their NY resolutions were:
Wet Brazilian wasn’t going to do anything silly so she sent the family on holiday in order that she could hash. Seems reasonable! Knickerless was going to take fitness seriously and thus felt that going with Poser would be a big step in the right direction (hmmm…!). Topless thought that keeping fit was just silly (she’s such an FRB that one) whilst Peeking Ong was in strict training (again) for beer drinking. Here’s to the resolutionaries.
At this point the GM called in 3 hashers for talking too much in his circle (talk about the kettle!) Jacob, his lady and Peeking Ong ought to be publicly pissed on.
Mystery Mystery Mystery Whip: Penile Extension allegedly was asked to whip as well – you have to hand it to Cock Radio for covering all the bases:
He decided it would be a good idea to give all the members NY resolutions. After a few well chosen offerings: less grumpy (Bagless, HooRay), better jokes (Coo Chi Coo), get a job (Poser), be more independent (Dominator, Chicken Shit), the scribe was wished Happy New Year by Goody bag and totally lost the plot. He learned later that Penile Extension had too! Here’s to more resolution on the hash.
Prick of the Week: works and had been decorated for the occasion. Circle Jerk thought that a night out for Eleven at a pick up bar would make a good Christmas present whereas Penile Extension bought an iPhone but had to buy S$ 2k of computer to be able to use the software. Cleary Circle Jerk takes the biscuit and the Prick and is now Coo Chi Coo’s hero.
AOB
Boo The Mad Chinaman called in Penile Extension to be fucking well shot and Cunt Dracula for being out of order.
AdNauseum dreamt of waking up naked beside a beautiful woman. So in pursuit of his goal was in the front of the car naked. Ugly Bum was changing and there was only 1 towel. Where are my clothes? He asked. In the boot of the car, she says. Give her a down, down.
Boo The Mad Chinaman called in Slack Arse for forgetting where he was.
No Good called in Coo Chi Coo for not knowing where the hash was – no chance next week then!
Wonton had a lovely SMS from Eleven wishing her a good Christmas but when she replied Eleven said “Who is this?” She ought to be shot!
Boo The Mad Chinaman called in the foreign talent: Stiffler wore a lovely pair of thongs but New Talent (Mr Muscles) wore none at all. He clearly needs Shoe Shopper!
Jacob came into the circle to add some Monday culture. The scribe was waiting but none accrued.
Not Tonight called in Knickerless for refusing assistance up a slippery slope from aforementioned and hunky Mr Muscles.
Twin Towers called in Poser and Wet Patch. Twin Towers was wondering if Wet Patch was a medium but Poser was adamant that he was a large since she knows how big he is!
Ditch was going through the shiggy when some guy pulled a huge vine down and nearly killed him – better luck next time, Bagless 2!
Circle closed: On On On at around 20.30
On On On On! As told to Wet Patch.
Scribed by: Wet Patch
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