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Run 1442 |
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Date: 5th February 2010 |
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Hares: Shoe Shopper & Wet Patch |
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Run-Site: corner Dairy Farm Rd. & Upper Bukit Timah Rd., Car Park A |
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On On: Red Lantern |
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Numbers: Members: 61 Returnees: 3 Visitors: 4 (incl. 1 virgin) Total: 68 |
The Run by our
Mystery Run Reporter:
Handsome
Married Men #01: Stash
Cheeks Out has decided that this month the run report will be scribed by the Handsome Married Men of the Lion City Hash, and of course Cheeks Out selected the MOST handsome married man to scribe the first run of the month. Sorry to all you sloppy seconds….Cherry Picker, Ripper, TBA and whoever else gets the nod.
A surprisingly small pack gathered at Diary Farm Car Park A just before 6PM. Where were all the hounds? Stuck in the snarls of Singapore traffic it seems. And where was the beer truck? Ah, that mystery remains unanswered.
Jack-Off started the pack heading East at 6PM, to an innocent check on the path leading to Car Park B set the trail headed toward Echo Valley, site of many a celebration run in years gone by, to yet another circle check. Hare Shoe Shopper was keeping in the middle of the pack, a sign of trouble ahead?
Trail headed up the bike track…and down and up and….as the front runners disappeared in the distance. A T-check brought them back as the trail headed cross the railroad tracks and down an alley to Upper Bukit Timah Rd. On over the road, and up the hill to a T check that had poetic license. Trail started again behind a fallen tree, probably knocked down by Wet Patch to disguise the trail. TBA, fighting fit after his hospital encounter few weeks ago, spotted trail and led the pack down to the fence, and left around the kindergarten school and down the hill to ….a nasty T Check. And who was there but Shoe Shopper, grinning away at the site of the front runners TBA and Sneaky Cummer now at the back of the pack.
We trudged back up the hill, and continued around the fence out to Old Jurong Road and down into the park, and then a nasty climb up to Lorong Sesuai led by front runners Tiger Lily and Shaggy Dick 2 to a circle check that couldn’t stop the packs momentum.
Trail careened through the jungle and down the stairs to Upper Bukit Timah road, crossed at the lights, except for short cutters Machine and Sandra who made a bee-line to the crossing over the railroad bridge.
From there the trail traversed a slippery slope up along the fence line and back to Car Park A at 7:05PM, where there were surprisingly more members than at the start of the run, and no beer truck. A good run, thanks to Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch.
The Circle by: Cheeks Out
The Circle started: At 7:49 GM’s were calling to “form a circle” and told: The circle is already formed! Ok Ok then please form a QUIET circle.
What did we think of the Run: Bring in the two lazy hares –Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch - just because it was drizzling a little they were sitting in their cars between 2 and 4 pm. To shouts of good run they were given a down down “why were they born..” – well to lay such an excellent run of course!
Tell us about your On On: Red Lantern, 10$ a head and two beers on each table – Bloody good run – that!
Next Week’s Run: The Dick – family run all the dicks in the circle – including their newest member Cock Tees.
Virgins: David - welcome – “he’s alright …”, drink it down down.
Visitors: Belcher, Mimi, Great Balls of Fire
Returnees: Groundhog, Front Arse, Quicksand
New Members: None
Milestones: None
Do we have a Hare Whip? Shoe Shopper and Wet Patch
What do you call a guy who takes a day of work as he is not feeling too good, then proceeds to go on the run, have a few beers and lead the circle – suggestions of “malingerer” and other such names but Shoe Shopper says “no- I call him an Australian!” on in Cock Radio.
Shoe Shopper takes her “haring” seriously – this week both the Wednesday and Thursday were laying trails in this area, so Shoe Shopper had to go running three days in a row – just to check if they were running in her planned area. – So Blood shit on in for making Shoe Shopper run.
Wet Patch enters with his charges: Tonight he saw a virgin doing something strange with a can of soda. He had sustained some injury on the run and with all the girls watching in fascination proceeded to pour soda over his legs – girls squealing “ohh is that skin flapping loose?” – “no it was a piece of mud!” this is the hash get used to it – drink it down down down..
Lastly – having done a live hare run (well nearly) and arriving back shortly before 7pm Wet Patch found there was some-thing missing? What was it “the beer wagon” – so bring in Croc Hunter for managing to get through terrible traffic and more and whilst being late still turning up.
Prick of the Week: Coo Chi Coo is not here so we still don’t have the biggest prick with us.
Mystery Whip: Sneaky Cumer
We all know that the motto of the boy scouts is “be prepared” so I will bring in 3 people tonight Shoe Shopper, Stiffy and Stash: One is the type with all the tools and always annoyingly well prepared, one may be well prepared but is so forgetful that no-one would know and the last is just a perfect boy-scout and truly well prepared – now who is what? Stash the forgetful one – forgot his glasses and didn’t see the trail, Stiffy the annoyingly “know-all” prepared one – also something about trail?? And finally Shoe Shopper: good little scout for scouting all three hashes this week.
G-M privilege: Cock Radio Bringing in a hare for paper in the nature reserve – giving Shoe Shopper a very cheap “boob-job”.
Mystery Mystery Whip: enters Cherry Picker
Article …??? In the hash by-laws states “no profiteering on the hash” tonight there was a hasher trying to make a quick profit on the lateness of a the beer truck by offering luke-warm beer at 6$ a can!- Armless come on in!
Boo the cheap bastard: Inviting everyone to a birthday party – treating food and beer – all you had to do was to reply to an e-mail address – sounds too good to be true? It was the e-mail did not exist! …He’s the meanest ..
4 Japanese girls (Back seat Bonker, Dog Mount, Cock Tees and G-String) followed by Cheeks Out through the shiggy chatting away and suddenly all the chatting gave way to “ow – oh – ouch” as flying stingers attacked from all sides – a while later they all emerged from the jungle with Cheeks Out announcing I got four on my arse! 4 What? Stingers or Japanese girls?
Shoe Shopper being very concerned about getting the hare-line straight she was setting the run with Wet Patch – much e-mail tooing and froing to make sure the good lady’s reputation was not tarnished – Cherry Picker was a little confused about this urge to be a one-man woman, as only a couple of weeks back Shoe Shopper was on the hare-line as “Shoe Shopper and all the Aussies!”
AOB
First in is Slocum: We all know that poor Tiger Lily often struggle to see the T-checks but tonight Slocum discovered that maybe it is something genetic or a national trait, several times tonight he spotted Dog Mount, Back Seat Bonker and Cock Tees going straight on in spite of trail CLEARLY going right or left – he can only conclude that the Japanese must be colour blind to white!
Second, Legolass: Bringing in Stiffy, a Knickerless look-a-like (Shoe Shopper) and (the returnee..) and some charge about drowning UWC students saved by a calm Knickerless – why was Stiffy in? for working at UWC!
Third, Mystery AOB Whip brings in Double Back, Indecent Exposure and Slack Arse. Out on the trail there was no paper and then Indecent Exposure said “look I see paper – there!” (about 500m down the road) “well go check it out” – “no no it is so far” however Slack Arse gallantly offered to go check it out …he was never seen again during the rest of the run.
Fourth: Stash brings in Sneaky Cumer for not being able to differentiate between Cherry Picker and TBA.
Fifth, Kan Not Can: An announcement – again – and I am still not sure what it is all about – but certainly being in good time. Next year in January and then something about Burns Night. Look forward to the weekly reminders.
Wrapped up at 8:27 GM’s you are getting the hang of this :-)
On On On On!
Scribed by: Cheeks Out
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