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Run 1444 Chinese New Year Run |
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Date: 19th February 2010 |
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Hares: Strapless, Boo, Quickie & Chicken Shit |
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Run-Site: Upper Seletar Reservoir, Car Park C |
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On On: Beng Cheng Restaurant |
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Numbers: Members: 69 Returnees: 1 Visitors: 19 (incl. 1 virgin) Total: 89 |
The Run by our Mystery Run Reporter: Handsome Married Men #03: TBA
Lyon Shitty Hash Trash Run No 1445
A few weeks ago about 4 milliseconds after I got home (finished the run for the uninitiated), some dizzy blond strolled over and cajoled me into writing this run report with some bullshit, to which I overheard LJ (work it out) saying ugly old farts more like, and in the case of next week run scribe Perry Chicker its obviously true, so onto the run.
The funny thing is I remember more about last week’s run, than this one, because one sees a lot when one’s glaring at one’s feet.
Please tell me Crazy Welshman I have heard of Stale bread, stale breath (oops sorry about that), but stale flour, what is that. It is obviously a new description for old trail. Next it will be watch out mates I saw some dissolved paper, out there so don’t follow it Tiger Lillllllyyyyyyy on back, and the first run of the Tiger year and where was she, feigning some imaginary injury.
So here we are next to the reservoir Car Park C for Chinese, wearing as instructed red well except for Bagless who was not, even running.
So off we set along the side of the water to the obvious shouts of back check, only to return past a smiling Boo saying ha ha if this was a week later I would have forgot that was there.
So what about the trail, dizzy slopes, heady views, stunning sunset, sounds like help, help I’m being repressed……. Oh sorry trees, trees, and you’ve guessed it more bush (for the tucker boys).
This must be billed as the walking wounded run because Mighty Moth was suffering from broken ribs, and this because square peg is in the OC*, Bingo Legs in a massively horny state was bouncing him off the walls, and he was obviously not up to the task. (Disclaimer pseudo names used as the Crazy Welshman’s a Liar)
So what were the highlights, Ziggy & Potato Head doing what they do best getting lost, well that was until Potato head impaled himself on a thorn bush and shall from henceforward be known as Prick Head, as the blood gushed into his eye.
So there I was running along with not a care in the world and up behind comes Wet Patch, grunting and farting as he does, of course you know there was something wrong, because he was obviously highly agitated, TBA push on man, then Jackoff kicks off, TBA your slowing us up, something like FO sprung to mind but being the shy retiring type I moved over to let Wet Patch go bye, after he had dug me in the ribs, kicked my calf, tried tripping me 3 times, and then as he sniggered past, trod on my foot, working a thorn vine down my shin, and all because Shoe Shopper was front running and had the sense not to follow Ziggy. The real reason was because the Letcherarse Barsteward was behind ogling the derryair.
Cherry Picker complaining towards the end, where’s the checks haven’t seen one for 20 minutes or less (manic say no more), Can Not Can tripping or pushing the little Japanese flasher lady over, the no name Aussie (well he sounded like a twat), who went arse over tit, Oh hi Ziggy come on through, oh and that bloodeye Prick Head too.
After a while we came to a slightly muddy patch, when this shimmering beauty (Tummies Inn) seemed to speed hoveringly over it and was gone in a veiled mist, as we then rounded the bend and there in front of us was the lake, which made the old Ponty Mython sketch spring to mind.
If Oi declared myself emperor because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me you’d lock me away, and there was the Crazy Welshman to watch us ON INN to none other than a legless emperor Handbag perched on his throne.
Oh yes and the walk, a gentle dander by the lake and back, was it a good view I asked, dunno was too busy gossiping.
Run Scribe
TBA
* OC = Old Cuntry
** Letchherarse Barsteward = Dick TV
The Circle by: Cheeks Out
The Circle started: At 8:03
What did we think of the Run: Boo, Quickie, Chicken Shit, Strapless and ??? did not get them all but a lot of Chinamen and their ladies J . Good run – lots of jungle – bloody good run!
Tell us about your On On: Beng Cheng Restaurant with a Toss Up for all and good luck for the year of the tiger.
Next Week’s Run: Dog Mount and all the Japanese girls, however Tiger Lilly is injured, G-string out singing for her supper and not sure what happened to Back Seat Bonker but we are hoping that they will all be there next week – where? Bukit Brown Cemetery
Virgins: No they started with the visitors and there were a lot of them including a couple of virgins (Joel) – welcome, thanks for running and drinking with us.
Visitors: Deep Throat, Wanking with Wolves, Daniel, Belcher, Numbutt, Aina, Mees, Mr. McGlue, Mimi, Sex Change, Dripping Wet, Jim, BL, Jasmine, Graeme, Sunee, Ikea Balls, Great Balls of Fire
Returnees: Lacy Lady
New Members: None
Milestones: None
Ah then we DID have a virgin: Running Shit’s daughter is in town: welcome Joel, hope you enjoyed it and please come again.
Do we have a Hare Whip? Boo
As you know one of our steady FRB’s Machine knows the various hashing grounds in Singapore very well and tonight was over-heard saying to Chicken Shit, “oh this will be easy – I know this wood like the back of my hand….” So why did you come back into the park tonight from the main road and via Upper Pierce Machine?
As we all know the water here is for drinking not swimming or bathing so bring in our GM for short-cutting by swimming across the reservoir! (well he is not much of a runner these days so has to try and make up for it by swimming!) so Cock Radio “drink it down down … give him reservoir water for that!”
The last charge was something about Strapless and putting business first and trying to preserve his beautiful legs – I had not heard that Strapless had started modelling??
Mystery Whip: Ripper
Every 4 years we have the Olympics and people talk of nothing else for a couple of weeks – also every 4 years we have the winter Olympics and NO-ONE seems to talk about it? But then out on trail Ripper heard two old farts talking sports and he thought “yes some-one is watching the Winter Olympics – are they talking of the curling? The down-hill skiing? NO they were talking about rugby! Bring in Phoney Dick and Aye Aye!
When we were kids we were all messing around on bikes, riding and falling off and getting injured and riding some more and getting injured some more but most of us don’t do that any more we have either stopped falling off or stopped biking all together – why? Because we have grown up except for one person who is still riding and still falling off and getting injured – Coo Chi Coo are you ever going to grow up?.
Mystery Mystery Whip: Shoe Shopper (promising only two charges)
First charge goes to some-one who is a bit of a prick (I think here comes a challenge to Coo Chi Coo?? Hmmm) anyway this person knows our GM quite well and KNOWS that he often phones around for a MW at the last moment on a Friday and yet when this person discovered a missed call from CR she COULD have thought “Phew lucky me I missed the call to be MW” but did she? No she called back without thinking going “Did you call me? Can I help you with something” But Shoe-Shopper can’t charge herself so is looking for a good looking sexy blonde Look a Like and Ugly Bum is immediately stepping up to the plate. Well done blondy, drink it down down ..
Next she never thought she would hear herself say “can I have Can Not Kan in the circle please!” but tonight that is what she is saying as out on the run she heard him very enthusiastically yelling ON ON and then adding “I like to hear my own echo!” yes we all believe that! He’s the meanest …
G-M privilege: Cock Radio: Many things on the hash are often deemed un-acceptable – CR has even heard people saying Goody Bag showering as good as nude is un-acceptable (CR did not quite agree with that but there are many opinions on the hash) however there has been one gentleman whose outburst of “You did not ask where the visitors were from that is totally unacceptable!” or “what no beer truck yet – well that is just totally unacceptable!” so here is a naming opportunity and the circle approved the naming of Steffen. Jack Off proceeded with a “by the powers infested in me” I now pronounce you to be forevermore known as: Totally Unacceptable.
Prick of the Week: Coo Chi Coo is finally here but his wife has hidden the prick in the bedroom – well mate I would not be admitting to that in public! Any way the story was connected as it was about dirty old men in brothel’s getting too excited and dropping with heart attacks so now it is a new law in Switzerland that a brothel has to have a defibrillator. So which dirty old man do we all know, who travels regularly to Switzerland? Bring in Fat Crashing Bastard.
AOB
First in is Handbag: Something about wearing red and can I then wear white? - is white the new red? or is Phone Sex the new asian blonde? Then something about peeling mandarins and an emperor, his wife, concubine and an illegitimate child … sorry lost the thread on this one..?
Second TBA: Charging Wet Patch for pushing through people on trail as he was worried that his lady love would get home first and spend too much money on shoes. So a down down to the pushy one.
Third in Coo Chi Coo: Why is Boo celebrating his birthday with the Hariettes? Are we not important? No probably because he knows “we don’t give a stuff!” hey speak for yourself “happy birthday to Boo happy birthday…”
Fourth Ditch brings in the seated old farts: Bully, Ayam Kampong and Strapless.
Finally all the Chinamen and Ladies in the circle with a lovely performance of Gong Xi Gong Xi …
ON ON was called at around 8:40
On On On On!
Scribed by: Cheeks Out
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