DATE: 29/9/2000
WHERE: Johor Bahru
HARES: Coo Chi Coo & Shit Stream
MEMBERS:
GUESTS:
VIRGINS: Nil
VISITORS: 2 - Michelle from New York & Wet Pet from the Wednesday Harriet Hash
RETURNEES:
Please forgive the rambling Circle Report, but Black Widow called late Friday afternoon stating that she couldn't make the run - something about a friend coming over or getting lucky or something to that effect.
It was a run that lived up to the Hares promises - a run around and through quaint kampongs, cow shit, and squalor with some surprises thrown in for good measure. Surprises included a downpour that continued throughout the run, spiced up with some close thunder & lightening. The run also provided some very slippery footing and floating cow shit (and who knows what else was floating in that water), several surprise "Co-Hares" (kampong ladies & boys) providing guidance and encouraging "ON-ON's.
Despite Phoney Dick's constant complaints that the Hare was on his bike throughout the run, providing no beer, and no tee shirts, it was still voted a good, but very wet run.
Hare Whip Coo Chi Coo called Loose Change into the Circle for being the Best Hasher as she discovered the first paper at 6:00 PM. Kiasu Member Boo also was given a down-down for taking out his calculator to calculate how to get back home from JB.
The first Mystery Whip, Peeking Ong, delivered 2 different charges. The first charge went to Bagless, Phoney Dick, and King Lear for constantly complaining about newsletter zip files, attachments, etc., obviously preferring to get their newsletters the old fashioned way or on the Home Web Page of the LCHHH, providing that Peeking Ong keeps it properly updated.
Next in for a down-down were the Velcros Kids, who were up their usual tricks of holding hands during the run and wearing matching sarongs and sandals during the circle. Peeking Ong's charges were something about how times have changed in the time he was away.
Mystery Whip #2, Pecker Checker, dragged Indianus into the Circle for a down-down for stealing Hash properties. She apparently lifted a roll of very dry toilet paper from Coo Chi Coo's bike, as she needed to pee in the rain. Corny Linguist was charged for being unable to read the odometer. Next in was Bagless, who ignored the foot bridge (which was under water) during the run and, instead held hands with the kampong boys who took him on a short cut. Since his wife was not there to hold hands with him (like the Velcros Kids), he decided to do it with the Malaysian kampong boys.
Prick of the Week holder, Indianus, claiming that it did not belong to her (haven't we heard that before), but said that Shit Stream gave it to her to present this week, as he was unable to make the run called in several contestants. The first contestant, Coo Chi Coo, was called for a cow shit run and not forewarning her of the possibility of being garroted by the low hanging clothes lines. The 2nd contestant was Comes Around. His charge was not warning her of upcoming trips, as he was ahead of her. She apparently almost did a face plant into the cow shit laden field. The 3rd contestant was Steve (Hash Name??) for flicking the branches back at her as he pulled them aside for himself. The 4th contestant was Ad Nauseum, who asked about her sex life, but did nothing further. Finally, Steepy, was different. He asked her at the beginning of the run if he could step into her sarong with her and fondle her tits. Unfortunately, not tonight for Steepy. However, for being at least interested in her sex life and attempting to improve it and certainly for not trying to kill her during the run, he was awarded the POW.
Pussy of the week - LOA.
AOB - Loose Change announced the Dinner & Dance tickets are available now. Members are $95 and non-members are $110. Please see Iron Crotch for tickets.
Gecko to Big Hammer - phone rang for Gecko. It was Big Hammer asking where he was. Gecko told him that he was at the Raffles Marina. Big Hammer wondered if that was at the Bird Park instead. Gecko called in Squire and Aftershock, but was given a down-down instead for not using Hash Names (circle was rapidly deteriorating at this point). Apparently Gecko offered Aftershock a ride to the run site. But she could only trust one man on the hash, Squire, and no body else. Thus she turned up with Squire. Big Hammer came to the run with Bushy - she emerged from the car in, uh I mean, wearing his shorts. Now we know why Squire is so jealous of Big Hammer, as Bushy prefers to be in Big Hammer's shorts and not Squire's.
Indianus announced the 350th celebration run in JB on 7/10/200 for the JB Hash. Promises to be a good run and a great night/ Call Desperation for details.
Sybil to Coo Chi Coo who promised her that it would be a short run. As a result, it turned out to be a long and very wet run. Too long, too many cows, too many bulls (wonder why she minds this), too much cow shit, etc. And finally, Coo Chi Coo did not warn her that no red clothes should be worn during the run because bulls hate the color red and nearly charged her. So…..the run was also too dangerous.
Aftershock was wearing red during the run. She screamed, thinking the bulls were charging her. As it turns out, it was only Steepy on Comes Around.
Boo to HooRay , who is well known for screwing up runs. At the Harriets, he runs in front of the ladies. At tonight's run he decided to out run in front of the cows and bulls, but that didn't get him very far, as Boo called to warn him that the bulls were unhappy.
Astronut to Gecko for a being law abiding resident in Singapore but was turned away at Malaysian customs as if he was a criminal (do they know something we don't??) - just what do those passport barcodes tell you??
Finally, Ring Pull called in Coo Chi Coo who has done 6400 + runs on the LCHHH and ought to know that no matter what, the Grand Master and Grand Mistress are to ALWAYS start the run - NOT THE HARE.
Finally after further confusing digressions it was ON ON to the local seafood shack, where the toilets drained directly to the sea (now where were those fish caught and what did the eat)??
ON ON,
The Velcros Kids (Jack Off and SloCum)
On-Back