Run No. 959                                                               Members: 41

Date: Friday 9 February 2001                                  Guests: 19

Where: East Coast Parkway – carpark C1            Virgins: 2

Hares: Sara Lee & Doggie Stylo                             Visitors: 3                  Returnees: 2

It’s going to be mercifully short this week as I got slightly out of kilter with a very busy week end and I’ve got lots of things to catch up on, with, to etc. I was also somewhat waylaid on the journey to the run but managed to get to the circle in time to relieve Zipp of her hovering biro and wrestle the clipboard from her eager grasp  - and also just in time to hear the huge cries of Hash Shit! Well, it’s the East Coast after all so what else do you expect? Sara Lee and Doggie Style didn’t look particularly concerned as they quaffed their down-downs; as long as everyone came to the on-on they were quite happy.

Next week’s hare was invited in to rounds of pre-emptive hash shittery. I don’t know what No Good has done to deserve the barracking she got. Anyway, it’s somewhere round Clementi Road.

Alpha Bitch has been busy clearing out her cupboards so asked various lucky recipients – No Good and G-String - to a lucky dip for which they were rewarded by quantities of booze. Then she called in the virgins – but that list got lost somewhere. Anyway, Virgins don’t read the report and you lot don’t know who they were anyway, so who cares? A visitor was Amy – Mrs. Strapless to you – but what hasn’t she got a hash name yet? And some welcome returnees, on their way back from Rabies’ bash in Bali, were Endurance and Janus.

Doggie Style swanked in to do the Hare Whip bit, and her first charge was a very well received on as she hauled in Hooray for being caught in the middle of the ECP trying to save time by sprinting across the expressway, – not a particularly intelligent thing to do. She also got G-String for dancing – or something. No doubt you had to be there…

Ring Pull had a milestone to award – finally – to Bully. Now I’ve known this chap for a couple of million years – so how come he’s only done 200 runs? Alpha did her usual sharing the tee-shirt with any available man bit - and Bully joined in with gusto, proving there’s life in the old dog yet.

And then it was time for the Mystery Whip. Well, Molester had to get in there somewhere, didn’t he? He was one of the usual suspects crammed into Captain Flakey’s car last week – if you remember; I jumped ship at Sixth Avenue in mortal fear for my life. Molester just wanted to comment on Flakey’s trailer-trash taste in music, and the fact that the gallant captain, apart from driving – if that is the word - with his eyes shut also forgot to switch his lights on for about five miles.

Molester also crowed about the fact that he had been picked up by a Harriet in the way to the run – proving that Desperation really is that desperate.

Mystery Mystery Whip proved that the grudge is alive and well as it turned out to be Flakey. He decided, however, that the best thing to do with Molester was ignore him so called in Riper instead for pointing out some crows on the run and describing them as pigeons. Well, they live a sheltered life on Christmas Island, don’t they?

As you can see, the circle was a fast and furious affair this week, so we moved right along to Strapless, who was punished by Alpha for forgetting the Prick of the Week yet again. Bully had remembered the Pussy, however, and presented it to Slipstream for having a baby in the circle. Look, I don’t remember it either but that’s what the notes say.

AOB. Coo Chi Coo carried on with his terminally political incorrectitude by imagining what a film called “What Men Want” would be about.  Big tits was the correct response. Ho ho ho! And all CCC wanted to do was drag some endowed women into the circle so he could have a quick grope. Poser, Ring Pull and moi were called in to do the biz.

And finally on to the on-on at the East Coast seafood centre and all points strange after that. Somehow I managed to lose the aerial off my phone at the Europa, but that, as they say, is another story.

On on!

Black Widow

PS  Ed.’s on holiday this week……

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