Cock Radio, on the Couch, with Cheeks Out

G’dday Cheeks Out, how are you?

Oh God. I’m good, what can I do for you?

Are you working at the moment?

Oh God. Yes, but I have 20 minutes spare now.

Good, that’s all I need. Where was your first run?

Oh God. About 2 years ago at Bukit Browne Cemetery. Maybe 3 years ago.

How did you get your name?

Oh God. I was leaving home to go out somewhere and had just got out of the bath and put on my G- string. My grand daughter was there and saw me and she said ‘Gran, your cheeks aren’t in’ So the next week, Ayam Kampong decided to go into the Circle and tell the story. Obviously it was a good naming opportunity and so Cheeks Out it was.

Most memorable moment?

Oh God. That would be leaving all my underwear behind on the side of the road  after showering after the run. Running Shit charged me for leaving my black knickers behind but in actual fact it was black sports bra so it’s a worry if he can’t tell the difference between knickers and a bra. But then the next morning at home, my husband was doing the washing and asked me where my knickers were. Oh shit, I must have left them there, I said, so he drove back to the run site and sure enough there they were.

Good to see who does the washing in your house. Best Run?

Oh God. It was just recent, the Hares kept the pack right together all the way. I can’t remember where it was though.

Favourite Run site?

Oh God. Chestnut. There are plenty of good trails and you can get right away from the tarmac.

Yes, I can remember one time you were a Hare there and we were still running up and down the back of Bukit Timah in the dark.

What do you like about the Hash?

Oh God. It gets you out on a Friday night and doing things, you have a giggle and a chat and get de stressed.

What do you dislike?

Oh God. Nothing really, I wouldn’t do it otherwise. I don’t do things I don’t like.

Best ON On?

Oh God. On site, any type.

Anyone you particularly admire on the Hash?

Oh God. Just about everybody. But Shoe Shopper and Big Head because they do a lot of work and never talk bad of anything.

How would you improve the Hash?

Oh God. Personally, I would like to do some longer runs, about 2 hours. I just need to find others who are keen.

Try the Irish.

On the Hash you should……… Oh God.  try to keep the pack together.

Any food you would not eat?

Oh God. I am really 2 people in 1. Person number makes up 90% of me and eats nothing bad.

Person number 2 is 10% and eats everything possible that is bad.

Any words of wisdom to leave us with?

Oh God. Oh Yeah, you have to remember that old gals like me like Friday Hash because I can dress up as  lamb and still get admired. Boob a Lubes friend in Thailand told me ‘ You can’t stop getting older but don’t stop growing up.’ So I will keep wearing minis for a long time to come and will enjoy every comment and remark I get!

Finally, do you follow Boo?

Oh God. I do actually sometimes now, I would never have 2 years ago. I give him a lie detector test first though. When we don’t know where we are, I think Boo has the best chance of finding the trail so I follow him. But sometimes he has a twinkle in his eye and just wants to lead you astray on a short cut he wants to test out.

On that note, thank you, and just remember ‘Cheeks Out, for the boys!’

Oh God.

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