Cock Radio, On the couch with Goody Bags

Hi, How are you?

 How can I help you? Run my fingers through your hair, down your neck, onto your chest?? I’m fine thank you, so how can I be of service to you?

Ai yai yai!! Just give me a minute while I go take a cold shower!!

Ok, that’s better. Tell me about your first time? 

Mmm, I have trouble remembering the first time. I wasn’t very experienced, no, no, I can’t remember the first time

Hang on, it wasn’t that long ago, you only joined the Hash in October last year! Are we talking about the same thing? When I said first time I meant your first run!

Oh, last year!  It was Wednesday with the Harriets at Jurong Heavy Vechicle Car Park. I remember now, because you were scribing at the Circle and asked me for my phone number, you said it was for the club records!

Yes, and you gave it to me too!! The number that is. Tell us about your name, Goody Bags. How did it come about?

Because I am a good package? Haha! It was before the 25^th Anniversary run, it was announced that there would be goody bags given away at the run. So when we were at a run at Dairy Farm Rd, I saw one of the Hares carrying a back pack and I asked them if that was a goody bag? They said no, this is the bag with flour and paper in it to mark the trail!  

Best Run?

 I like all Virginia Slim’s runs. And the Aussie Day live Hare run that Sunday did when you were a hare. And Sharon Batu’s run at Choo Chu Kang, Sylvia came back very late and was so mad all she could say was ‘F..ck off, f..ck off’!, it was very funny

What about your most memorable moment?  

To be nominated for Hash Brew and be on the Committee. I feel that I am really accepted now and I feel part of the Club. I just come to have fun and enjoy myself.

 Your funniest Hash moment?

I use to like Armless when he was talking in the Circle, especially when I first joined because I didn’t know what the hash was all about and he was saying all these crazy things!!

Yes, we have listened to Armless for years and still don’t know what he is talking about. What about your favourite OnOn site?  

The Red Lantern, but we go a lot, we need to rotate more. I have a friend who has a double story restaurant in Pasir Panjang, they said we can go there, $12 meal. $5 beer and karoke upstairs.

If you weren’t running the Hash, you would be ……..going to different parks and places to run by myself.

 Yep, nothing like a girl doing it by herself.

On the Hash, you should always ……….. .What? Are you asking me a question? What? Huh? Phil, what do you want me to do?

Umm, just finish the sentence, that’s all.

Oh, I see. On the Hash you should always do your part to be friendly, be yourself. We are all from different walks of life, we need to be open.

Speaking of open, some of us have observed you from time to time doing some interesting stretches. Tell us about the splits.

I like doing the splits and stretching all parts of the body.

Yes, some of us like you stretching too. Did I tell you the joke about the Aussie gal doing the splits in her kitchen?

No.

Mmm, I can’t tell you now, it is not suitable for this family newsletter, let’s move on before I have to go for another cold shower!

Yes, I see.

Who do you admire on the Hash?

ADMIRE? Not sexual right? Big Head because she is very friendly and natural.

I don’t understand, why me? Do you want more information? Do you want my measurements?

 No, no, you are doing well!  How would you improve the Hash?

Get the front runners to call ‘On On’ more. Not enough people at the front and middle are calling and it is hard for the runners at the back to know where to go!

Yep, I agree! FRB’s are so inconsiderate and selfish.

Tell us about after the run.

 Well, the showering is very different at the Hash, to bathe in public is unique. And I think that we are all in clothes that could be accepted as bathing costumes, even G strings are acceptable. We are all open minded people.

Yes we are, except perhaps for Coo Chi Coo who is just a perve!

Oh, I see, yes he is. Can I read this first before you mail it?

No!

I might have more secrets!

No, trust me, I am an honest interviewer, everything will be recorded just as you said it! (and according to how many beers I’ve had when I write it up)

Well, you may miss out, all the goodness is in the bag waiting to be discovered!

Good night Goody Bags!

Are you sure I can’t read it?

No! Now good night!

Ok.

On that note, thank you for being on the couch this week Goody Bags!

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