Cock Radio, on the Couch, with In and Out

Gdday Mate.

Hello Cock Radio. Nice couch.

Thanks, try not to spill your beer ok.

How long have you been running?

Semi regularly since 2002.

You should see a doctor if you need to be more regular. Or try prunes.

Thanks doc.

Where was your first run?

My first Hash run was actually in 1979 in Jordan on the banks of the Dead Sea, which was the inaugural run of the Dead Sea Hash- the Lowest Hash on Earth.

And I always thought Lion City was as low as you could go.

How did you get your name?

Use your imagination!

Mate, this is a family newsletter.

Seriously though, my name ‘In and Out” is nothing to do with nocturnal bedroom activities, more a reflection of my parking skills demonstrated one Friday at Rifle Range Road when I cut in front of another Hasher.

The best Run you ever did?

The hash challenge in Malaysia in 2004 with Skidmark, Sherpa and Barbarian. Beautiful terrain, but a good job we had Sherpa with us to carry our gear.

Yeah, those Sherpas come in handy.

Your most memorable Run?

When I was lost for the best part of the night in the jungle in Johor after I arrived late for the JB hash and rather stupidly thought that I could run on and catch up before dark.  Of course I have learnt my lesson and never arrive late for the start now. Yeah, right…

I’ve never seen you turn up on time for a run yet.

Any funny moments that stand out?

Too many to recollect.

Favourite On On?

Absolutely has to be the Red Lantern. How on earth do they put up with us?

 Who do you admire on the Hash?

Any and all of the Grand Masters and Grand mistresses. It is a pretty thankless task to organise things week in, week out, and anyone keen (or foolish?) enough to volunteer deserves our admiration.

Thanks mate, here, have another drink.

Could the Hash be improved?

Stop any future development and jungle clearing, and open up the military restricted areas for Hash access. And for my next wish I want to win the lottery and have a 12 inch pianist.

Have to tell you, you’re dreaming.

Does anything get up your nose on the Hash?

People who criticise the volunteers on the committee. Oh, and those who chat amongst themselves on the circle so those of us who are of a certain age with failing hearing cant hear the pearls of wisdom spilling from the lips of the mystery whips.

I agree. We had a Mystery Whip walk out of the Circle the other week due to lack of respect. Talkers beware; we will name and shame you from now on ha ha.

What do you see as the issues that will face the Hash in the future?

Too many restrictions on run sites.

If you weren’t at the Hash, what would you be doing? 

Playing hide the sausage with Cindy Crawford.

In and Out I suppose? You really are a dreamer!

If you were GM, what would you do?

Get my brains tested for volunteering in the first place!

Mmm, can you recommend a Clinic for me?

On the Hash you should ……

Follow the (modified) motto of the Epicureans. ‘Eat, drink, run and be merry, for tomorrow you die’

For those without a dictionary to hand. Epicurean-a follower of Epicurus, devoted to the pursuit of pleasure, one who gives himself up to sensual pleasure, a glutton, a sybarite……..Loosely, a Hasher.

Wow, this column is getting deep. Thanks for that.

What do you enjoy the most about Hashing?

Having a hot shower courtesy of my patented hot water system at the end of the run.

What are you up to today?

Work work work work work…………

Any words of wisdom you would like to leave us with?

Get a job that allows you to leave the office at 5pm so that you can make the Hash on a regular basis! Or better still win the lottery, become a millionaire and not work at all. (for those wishing to become a millionaire, try Richard Branson’s failsafe method. First, become a billionaire, and then buy an airline…….)

And employ sexy young girls to pose in bikinis with you.

On that note, thanks In and Out for your interesting comments. Another beer before you go?