Cock Radio, on the Couch, with Phoney Dick

G’dday mate, how are you?

I want to see what this is all about. You know, I have heard about this on the Couch thing in the newsletter but I have never read it. I need to know what I am in for!

3 Hours later. Are you ready now??

Yes, I have done some serious warm ups and research.

Where was your first run?

1987 at Sentosa, I was introduced by Red Arrow.

How did you get your name?

It was at Medan for the 850 weekend, about 1988, and I was chosen by Knickerless to be the scribe so I came prepared with a dictafone to record the charges. Rambo said this provided a good Hash naming opportunity and  Phoney Dick it was, this all happening at Changi Airport Departures.

Most memorable moment?

The Jakarta 1000th run, about 1989. On the last night I ended up in my hotel room with 3 local girls (before I was married!) and there was a knock at the door. It was Deepthroat giving me my return plane ticket, she saw what was going on and spilled the beans! I’ve been trying for 3 in a row since!!!

Best Run?

It was at Woodlands St 41, about 1992. The area is now taken up by the American School and the TPE.

Favourite Run site?

That would be Lorong Sesuai and Jalan Kampong Chantek, they are both near home.

What do you dislike?

When the Government clears out the lovely old Kampung areas then puts up signs that they are going to shoot us! Singapore is too small for such exclusions.

Oh, and singing ‘One white one, one black one’, it’s a bit racial.

Best ON On?

The Scots run in October 1991 at Hua Yu Ee Restaurant on Upper Changi Rd. Captain Red Arrow and Aye Aye sang familiar Scottish songs all night.

Anyone you particularly admire on the Hash?

That would have to be Big Head in a plaid mini skirt and not much else. The first part has been achieved but still waiting for the other part.

But also Croc O Shit, he’s a brilliant guy with a fantastic sense of humour and infectious personality. He also plays a mean guitar.

You can have him if you like, I have kidnapped him on Facebook. His wife has offered to give me $2000 if I keep him!

Also I think Goody Bags deserves a mention. She has really brightened the Hash since she joined and is a willing volunteer to keep things going each week.

How would you improve the Hash?

My wife is convinced that all the single girls on the Hash are trying to entice me away. Maybe I should be hung for stealing a sheep as a lamb. Come on girls, make my day and test my resistance.

I’ll get the rope ready. I think in this case you might be better off going for the lamb rather than the sheep though.

On the Hash you should……… should not give pretty girls new to the Hash a horrible Hash name!

Any food you would not eat?

Pork, tofu, fish head, monkey brains, frogs legs, tiger parts or the penis of any animal.

Any words of wisdom to leave us with?

Take people for what they are and not what you think they should be.

Finally, do you follow Boo?

He is a true hasher who doesn’t take seriously whatever is poked at him in fun. You remember not so long ago I threw beer over him at the Circle and then I realized that I shouldn’t have done it. I felt quite bad so I rang him the next day to apologise, and he just shrugged it off and said don’t worry about it.

One final,final thing, can you follow up to last weeks when Poser mentioned the band?

Yes, let me remember;

Syph  and the Sores consisted of;

Phil Cockman – Syph –  vocals

Phil Murray – Captain Red Arrow - guitar

Steve Bogond – Bogey – Guitar

Kate Grace – Disgrace- vocals

Frankie Hills – Black Widow – vocals

Graeme Bull – Bully – Drums

Andy?  - drums

The last performance was at East Coast Sailing Club in 1988.

Syph got married to a girl who didn’t like the Hash so Syph was last seen at the Catholic Church in Victoria St on his wedding day, the beers were laid on but he wasn’t seen again.

Phoney Dick, thank you for your time.

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