Cock Radio, on the Couch with Right Royal Tit

(conducted while sitting on a plasic stool on the footpath drinking 25cent Bia Hoi at a busy intersection in Hanoi)

Xin Cao Right Royal Tit

Gdday. This beers ok hey, we can get drunk on $5 and still get change!

Yeah, well just don’t spill it over my notes. Tell us how you got your name?

Some people on Wednesday reckon I looked a little like Prince Harry. One night at the Circle some of the guys, probably Stiffy, Boo and the usual suspects were charged for standing with their hands in their pocket. Well, I didn’t have my hand in my pocket but my right nipple was suffering from a bit of chaffing so I was scratching it. So the scratching of the right tit combined with the Prince Harry thing to create Right Royal Tit.

Your first run?

Last year at Blackmore Drive, the Hares were Shoe Shopper and Cock Radio.

No doubt it was a good run. What about your most memorable Hashing moment?

It was on a Wednesday, I had been to the On On then ended up at the Old Brown Shoe on Bukit Timah Rd. When I staggered out late in the night, I needed to get to the other side of the road to get a taxi back towards the city. The nearest overhead pedestrian crossing was 100 metres up the road, so I thought stuff that, I’ll jump the fence in the middle of the road. When I got to the fence I realised there was quite a large stormwater drain that runs down the middle of the road but I thought I could negotiate it comfortably. Unfortunately it had been raining and as soon as I put one foot on the concrete side wall of the drain I slid on my back(which had my back pack on it) all the way down and ended up on my arse in the water at the bottom. One of my thongs (flip flops) came off and floated away into the darkness. I tried to retrieve it but as I fumbled along through the mud and water, my other thong came off my foot, rose to the surface and disappeared into the darkness in pursuit of the other one. So there I was, covered in mud and shit without anything on my feet trying to work out how I was going to get up the other side of this 5 metre high wall. Eventually I found some steps and got out but no taxis would stop to pick me up because I was such a mess.

Well mate, that is certainly one of our most memorable Hashing moments that’s been disclosed so far, makes me proud to be an Aussie. It’s a wonder we didn’t change your name to Right Royal Twit! What about your least memorable moment?

See above!

What do you enjoy most about the Hash?

Finishing a run so I can have a beer.

Speaking of beer, another Bia Hoi? What do you enjoy the least about the Hash?

Having to back track 200 meteres after following Tiger Lily and Shaggy Dick 2 when they miss all the checks and I follow them.

Favourite run site?

Blackmore Dve, it has a bit of jungle and a bit of road.

Interlude as we try and get rid of a pesky book seller.

Favourite On on?

Red Lantern!

Who do you admire on the Hash?

You, Cock Radio.

Don’t lie.

It would be Shoe Shopper for putting up with all our shit when she is driving us to the Hash.

Yeah, but what about her recent efforts, she’s left us high and dry a few times hey? Do you want to invest in a motorbike with sidecar - me, you and Shaggy Dick 2 and sometimes we would squeeze in Big Head as well.

Interlude while we hold our noses as lady selling dry squid walks past.

If you weren’t at the Hash, what would you be doing?

I would be at home preparing the evening meal for my wife.

Are you sure?

No, I would still be at school preparing  engaging, meaningful, inclusive lessons for my students to engage in life long learning.

Mmm, how sad.

On the Hash you should …… run the F..ing Hash!

Interlude as we watch a car slam the front of a motor bike. Motor bike man is not happy and slams car with fist. Now car driver man very unhappy, gets out of car and slams motor bike man with fist. After a few minutes it is all over and street corner back to normal chaotic self.

You mentioned about trying to get a taxi before. Any interseting taxi rides?

Nothing eventful.

Are you sure?

Well, I was asked to remove myself from a taxi once.

Why?

I think it was something I ate didn’t agree with me and I was a little bit sick.

Not all over the taxi, surely?

No, I was prepared, I had a plastic bag and filled it, then hurled it out the window.

Nice effort.

But 5 minutes later it happened again and I had no plastic bag.

Oh no, this time all over the back seat?

No, I unzipped my back pack and let fly, then zipped it up again.

Remarkable effort mate, well done.

Interlude as Right Royal Tit has to make an emergency dash to the toilet – probably something he ate!

I notice you have a scar on your knee, Hash injury?

No, that’s another taxi story in Australia. It did involve me and a taxi driver doing a bit of running and playing a little game of Hide and Seek though.

Mmm, I wont pursue that any further on the grounds that anything you say may be used in evidence against you!

Any words of wisdom you would like to leave us with?

Never travel home without a bag of some sort because you never know when you may need it!

On that note, lets have another Bia Hoi, and maybe you should ask if they have a plastic bag as well. Thank you Right Royal Tit, and we look forward to seeing you at  a Friday run soon.

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