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Cock Radio, on the Couch, with Stash
G’dday Stash, do you have a few minutes?
I am in the middle of an intense football match and if this is for ‘On the Couch’ you have already interviewed me.
Oh, have I? Really? Oh sorry, enjoy your game then . Cheers.
You idiot!
Cock Radio, on the Couch, with Ripper
G’dday Ripper, do you have a few minutes?
No, bugger off, call me tomorrow when I’ve got my answers sorted.
(24 hours later) When did you first join the Hash?
It was sometime April or May ’89. Run 341 at Lorong Terigu set by Syph and Ice. Boss was away at the time so I was able to leave work early enough to make the run. Coo Chi Coo was the GM and Black Widow the GMs. I remember getting a down down for not collecting my car keys in time. It was, coincidentally, Gypsy’s first run as well.
How did you get your name?
I jokingly tried to strangle Capt Red Arrow for enjoying himself sailing while the rest of us were working. It turned out he was the mystery whip and he told the tale of a movie, on TV the previous week, about a man who went around the streets of London killing young women. “And tonight someone had tried to kill him. On in Dave for a down down.” Obviously too good an opportunity to let go, and Ripper it became.
Do you have a memorable moment?
A few, but perhaps bonking a harriet between the Circle and the On-on would be hard to beat. Needless to say, we were late getting to the On-on.
Mmm, bet you had a good appetite. No name mentioned though?
No!
What about your Favourite Run site?
The temple at the end of Jalan Murai used to be good, as was Ulu Sembawang before the construction of the SLE and forced abandonment of the fish farms and market gardens there. Nowadays, anywhere that has more than 50% off-road.
Now, what do you like about the Hash?
The company and the complete disregard for social status. It really doesn’t matter what your job or salary is. On the hash everyone is equal.
What do you dislike?
Overly long circles – should always leave them wanting more.
Whips who pick on the committee – it’s too easy, give them a break and show some creativity.
Yeah, I agree, leave the poor Committee alone. We can make ourselves look stupid enough without your help.
Best ON On?
Not going to On-Ons these days much will make this one a bit dated. But the Scottish Day On-on at Hua Yue Wee was good. Plenty of singing with Capt Red Arrow and Aye Aye doing one of the best renditions of My Grandfather’s Ball I’ve seen.
Sounds like the same one Saliva mentioned the other week. Anyone you particularly admire on the Hash?
Admire. Myself, every morning in the mirror.
Respect. A few of the senior hashers who avoid the petty politics and keep the big picture in view.
Fancy. A few of the Harriet’s but my lips are sealed.
I hope theirs are too. On the Hash you should………
Remember 3 simple rules.
Any food you would not eat?
Fish eyes. Best left to Squire. The rest is OK.
What is your favourite run?
Of all time? Too tough to answer.
Serial Runs. The Scorpios, and the Eurasians usually set a good run, and CCC is always willing to try something different for his birthday runs.
You are married?
Yes. To Iris (KY), since 1997.
Children?
Two. Rachael who is 10, and David who is 8.
Could you improve the Hash?
No, not really. Any run is better than staying at home; it’s only that some runs are better than others.
What changes have you noticed at the Hash over the years?
Fewer outrageous characters these days. But perhaps that’s a sign of the times.
Any words of wisdom to leave us with?
No, and they’d probably be wasted if I had any.
Finally, do you follow Boo?
Follow – never.
Run with – sometimes, if it’s getting late or dark and we both agree that this is the best way home.
Thank you for sharing these intimate moments with me on the couch this week Ripper. See you Friday?
Too bloody right!
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