Cock Radio, on the Couch, with Saliva

G’dday, guess who?

(laughter). When you said you were going to ring at 12, I thought about taking the phone off the hook. (more laughter)

There’s no escaping you know. When did you first join the Hash?

Oh gosh, I can’t remember, it was so long ago. It was before Eric came to town, and that was in 1985, so it must have been around 1984. Juanita Jeyman, Dances with Kerbs, who is now with the Harriet’s introduced me.

  Where was your first run?

 I have no idea! I told you I didn’t do any preparation for this. But I can remember that Tug Wilson was on crutches.

Mmm, Tug Wilson hey, he is not related to Front Seat Wanker by any chance? Speaking of names, how did you get your name?

From my love of food of course! I came from a poor family and food tended to disappear of the table almost as soon as it was put out. I soon learnt that the only way to survive was to dive in quick and grab what you could while it was there. People soon noticed my fondness for food at the Hash and how I get in quick. It was False Trail who eventually came up with the name of Saliva.

Remind me not to sit at your table at the On On. Over all those years, you must have a memorable moment?

It was on the Bali Interhash, way back in 1988. Bali is a great place for Hashing, up in the hills with beautiful scenery and rice terraces. At the time, I was just a wee bonnie lassie and had just got to know Eric. Eric was a fast and strong runner then. On this particular day I was feeling rather tired during the run, so Eric piggy backed me all the way back to the run site. Bali is so nice, but not as nice as Eric!

Bali is nice, but dropped a couple of ratings in my view after my visit last week. I’m still crook with Bali Belly!  Speaking of disasters and the runs, have you had any disasters?

Lots of! One St Andrews Day run, well, they are a disaster anyway, at Jalan Kampong Chantek, I was responsible for the drink stop during the run. So there I was with all the whisky su su lined up waiting for the pack to turn up. But Bagless 2 took a wrong turn and led the pack along the wrong route, thus by passing my drink stop. So there I was in the middle of no where, just me and a couple of litres of whisky su su poured out into all these cups. Well, what could I do, I couldn’t carry them back and I wasn’t going to throw them out, so I started drinking them one by one by myself. Well, by the time I made it back to the Circle I was pretty smashed and absolutely legless by the time I arrived at the Red Lantern. Eric drove me home from the Red Lantern and dumped me on the floor, unable to carry me upstairs. He then went out with the boys for a drink.When he came home much later, he could hear moaning and groaning coming from somewhere. When he entered the house, he found the moaner and groaner was me, still lying on the floor where he had dumped me, unable to make it upstairs! When I arrived at Kampong Hash on the Saturday, I was given a standing ovation!

Mmm, perhaps there was something in the milk, perhaps it was from China? What about your Favourite Run site?

Jalan Kampong Chantek it has to be, nice area to run in and easy to take a short cut by just walking around the block.

What do I like about the Hash?

  Just wait a minute, I ask the questions ok. Now,what do you like about the Hash?

 I have been in it so long, it just seems like part of the family. When everyone comes to the Hash, we are all put on the same level no matter what your background is. I like it that way, and it is a great way to unwind. I really hate it when I have to miss a Friday run. I use to travel a lot for work and so missed a lot of runs, which was frustrating. That’s why my run total is not as high as it should be compared to how many years I have been running.

 What do you dislike?

 No real dislikes.

 What about when the Circle is a bit too long, I’m sure I have heard you groaning a bit?

 No, I just walk away!

 Best ON On?

That would be anywhere where the Scots get up and have a sing. Perhaps with Captain Green Arrow and his guitar. A good On On is not just about the venue and the food, it’s also the company and the people there that make it. We need more singing. I remember a Robbie Burns night where we put on Scottish food and the Haggis was used as the ball for a game of rugby. We don’t do Haggis anymore.

Probably was those uncouth English degenerates. No class at all. Anyone you particularly admire on the Hash?

Aye Aye of course! He embodies the true spirit of Hashing. When he was younger, fitter and stronger, he never gave up on a trail. He believed that if the Hares have gone to all the trouble of laying a trail, then he was not going to let anything stand in the way of him finding it no matter what.

 On the Hash you should……… enjoy yourself

Any food you would not eat?

I eat anything, including anything that moves!

Any words of wisdom to leave us with?

No, they would be lost on this lot anyway! (laughter)

 What changes have you noticed over the years?

 In the good old days, everyone seemed less uptight and more spontaneous. The younger members today seem more reticent and not so prepared just to let themselves go as much as we did. The free flowing jovial singing doesn’t happen as much as it used to. Everyone use to get up and join in no matter if they could sing or not.

Finally, do you follow Boo?

No, I only follow Aye Aye.

 On that note, thank you Saliva, I know it is past your lunch time and you need to go and dive in somewhere! Thanks for being on the couch this week.                        

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