Cock Radio, on the Couch, with Wet Patch.

G’dday, Wet Patch, you got a moment?

Sure, I’m just getting out of the shower.

Just as well this is not a video link up then.

When did you first join the Hash?

I’ve been a member of Lion City since October 2003.

When was your first run?

It was at Dempsey Road. I noticed the Velcro’s for the first time, they seemed to be dressed similar.

How did you get your name?

It was in Wales. The London City hash had gone up to Wales for a run and we were sitting around having a glass of wine or 3. I was wearing my running top that looked like I was wearing a vest and tie and the guys were thinking up a possible Hash name for me when suddenly someone spilt red wine all over my shorts and so Wet Patch it was!

Most memorable moments?

We were on a long run at Bukit Batok, Phone Sex was the Hare. After 1.15 hours we came to the long/short split! Phone Sex simply said ‘Be Tough’ and not wanting to be called a wimp I decided to be tough and ran the long. It was running all the way and we got back at 7.45. I thought this boy is a bastard!

What do you like the most about Hashing?

After a hard day at work, within 15 minutes of the Hash all the shite at work is forgotten. Also, the commaderie. It’s like a religion. We are a community with a common aim and we all try to help each other. And we are a classless society. It doesn’t matter who you are during the day, once you put on your Hash gear we are all the same.

What do you dislike?

When I was GM, there were many people who wouldn’t be a Mystery Whip. Everyone else makes a fool of themselves, why not them too! Everyone needs to chip in. Also I dislike the Hares being criticised, if you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything. That’s what my mother use to tell me.

Favourite Run site?

The Colbar. Mrs. Lim has an excellent selection of beers, including Speckled Red Hen and Newcastle Brown Ale. Journey into space, bottle of Dog, dogs bollocks and so on.

Sounds like you are in space now, are they really the names of beers?

Yep, good old English beer.

In Australia we keep the naming of our beer a little simpler, like VB or  xxxx. Much easier to say ‘I’ll have a VB’ when you’ve had a few instead of ‘I’ll have another heckled red pen, and no frogs balls about it ok.’

We English know how to hold our drink though.

Anyone you particularly admire on the Hash?

It would be Phone Sex, even though he’s not here at the moment. He was always prepared to set a run at the drop of a hat if asked, he always put in on the run and always sang lustily later, although not always in tune. He was full of good crack.

Funniest hash moment?

Definitely at Kranji War Memorial when Armless charged the 3 Japanese girls for the Japanese war effort in Singapore, which took some of the pressure of the German’s on their efforts in Europe! Only Armless could have got away with this. Then his final story about his grandfather dying in the war. That silenced everyone, until he went on and said that his Grandfather was drunk one night and fell out of the watch tower in a prison camp!

Favourite On On site?

The Red Lantern because it is conducive to singing and I have lots of good memories there with the Irish singing and of course Aye Aye.

On the Hash you should………always stay on trail and no short cutting! You should also always thank the Hares for their efforts no matter what the run. People put a lot of work into laying a trail and we should appreciate it.

If you weren’t Hashing, you would be……….drinking, probably at the Colbar!

Any food you would not eat?

Sea cucumber and stinky tofu, with the fish paste. It smells like shit and tastes like it. Tortoise feet in the soup are ok though!

Any words of wisdom to leave us with?

Words of wisdom, please give me some, I need them

Finally, do you follow Boo?

On occasions, when he has that serious look in his eye and he is worried about Quickie. I would follow Boo before I followed Hooray or Mandarin Lau!

Wet Patch, thank you for your time, now go and enjoy a nice frothy Freckled Red Ken. 

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